insecure

2011-03-16T15:43:00.008+08:00

Alright, e lazy girl is back to blog & i doubt any1 will realize ! LOL !

Im back from HongKong & im not very happy about it !! >.< I miss HongKong & I wanna go back there now ! Can I jst fly there now ? Fine, I knw e ans is a big fat NO ! T.T

Life's been great ! At least, so far so good ! Trouble-FREE ! For e tyme being ! Enjoying my life watching The Vampire Diaries ~ LOLs !

School "started" yesterday, classmate wasnt really as friendly as I thought they should be. Some dont even act like a professional. Looks young, punky. Definitely dont look like someone who fits e minimum requirement to qualify for this course.

Kindda like how e school operates, cux you dont hav a choice but a mst for you to complete ur course within 18months. At least, I wont hav any excuses for skipping modules or complaint about this lecturer sux or whatever shyts it is. Cux at e end of e day, we got to grade e lecturer ! Mwahahas ~ Anyway, tea break ? I believe all schools do allow tea breaks. For about 15mins. Either you go get urself a hot drink frm e vending machine, go Q for e toilet or even go smoke~ But now, my sch ! Hahahhas ~ Tea breaks include FOODS ~ & e sch is paying everything for us. Evyday different menu. Maybe MeeGoreng, Fried Beehoon or whatever ~ Oh yah ~ There's this coffee/tea dispenser right outside our classroom & it provides 24/7 FREE COFFEE / TEH TAREK !! Shiok ? Yeah ~ For now ~

E problem with e sch is, I needa walk 15min to e nearest bus-stop & there isnt any shutter bus service after 9pm? SUX!! FYI, my sch is located nearby my office, somewhr in e industrial park. Damn Ulu ~ its worst den e newly build Punggol years back when we only hav Bus 82! OMG !! <-- Pathetic right ? Let me tell you e worst of all !!

THERE ISNT ANY YANDAOS IN E CLASS !! OMG !!

Jst kill me ~ *Bang* eh, still haven die sia ~ nvm, try harder next tyme !

Suppose to meet min, didi n esther for keyaki tml, but due to Japan earthquake, ive decided to postpone e dinner ~ Simply becux, e salmon will cost me BOMB now !! LOLs !!

Hmm, jst in case some anonymous/ppl who enjoy stalking me, miss me too much ~ Here's a pic for you to see see look look ~ Bleah ! Tadang ~

Jess & Mick in HONGKONG !!
(Little Princess Jess VS 阿文哥哥)
"nicknames" we gave each other ~ LOL

2010-11-06T00:01:00.003+08:00

OneNhgitSatnd !! Or rather ~ SnatdOneNhigt !! LOLS !!

Somehow I rmb, mrX was once in my "SHE WANTS" list !! (if im not wrong)

But now ~
tyme for me to get back to reality !!

GdNight Guys ~ Its 07Nov2010 3:03AM now !! & I purposely edit e tyme to 06Nov2010 !!

2010-09-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

Feeling damn weak now. Whole body trembling! Din ate anything for e whole day.. Jst a can of coke n greentea.

Some parents jst couldn't understand this simple logic. When they fall sick, e one who suffer e most will always be their children but not them. Yes, you may say that they are sick & we shld be mre understanding. But what's e point of being understanding when they dun even care for their OWN's health? Worst is, they can tell you that they've tons of work needs to be done! And they can't go see e doc until end of next month! WTF is this? So what e company hav a major event/function going on recently? The company jst won't collapse without you! You can't jst take MC or whatever shyts now becux most of e things are being organized by you? What kind of lame excuses is this?

Parents, are you guys trying to tell ur child that work is much mre important den ur own's health? The company can't operate without ur presence? So compare it with ur work & family, work comes 1st before ur family? Are you guys trying to pass this message to us?

Shealin Koh, hav you ever spare a thought for me? I'm not as strong as you think I shld be! I'm jst a girl without a father. All I'm left with is you & ahgong! Dun you ever think that i'll be worried? Dun you knw that how much you mean to me? San shu & Johanna's father death is a sign of warning. You might not need to be seriously ill or old. You can jst collapse anytyme anywhere! Not to say ur health hasn't been good recently. You can jst lose some1 you loved so much so suddenly!! So now what, dun wanna see doc when u're not feeling well? Not becux I threw my temper ytd, would you even go see doc? When e doc gave you MC to rest at home, who's e one who insist going back office to work & need other ppl to inform me that u're not feeling well & asked me to send you back to e hospital? You will be at Malaysia frm friday till next tuesday. What if suddenly you dun feel good there? Are they able to send you to e hospital on tyme? Can e doc there be trusted? If anything happens to you, is ur company able to compensate me a mom? The answer is NO!

What's e problem with me getting angry with you? Am I at fault in e 1st place? Why mst they sounded as if im ridiculous? Behaving like an unfilial daughter? Why isn't there some1 jst understand how I feel? What I fear most? Am I really that bad?

If you dun even care abt ur OWN's health, den why shld I be bothered? It's ur health, ur life, if you dun even wanna cherish ur life, den why shld I care?

Dun understand why im crying so badly now jst becux of you!

Do whatever you want in life frm now on! I no longer care!!! Your company needs a responsible staff like you. But tell you what, I dun need a irresponsible mom!! If I can treat ur son's dad dead ~ Guess what I can do to you? I'm warning you now, dun try me! Cux I swear im gonna make you regret for life!!

Seriously, FUCK MY LIFE!!! _|_

2010-09-07T01:22:00.001+08:00

Dunno what happen to me recently, ytd night i jst told my mom off. If you cant tolerate my nonsense, den jst jolly well let me move out of this place. She gave me a look, den pretended she've heard nothing. WTF? Seriously, if you really cannot tahan my Princess-ss attitude, den jst let me move out! Simple as that.

Nothing much to blog recently. Wanna quit my job soon. But still gottcha endure at least another 6 months before I can throw that letter on my Director's table. Reason being, im too money minded! Another few more months to end this year. Meaning, bonus tyme! Next year January, hopefully, there's still performance bonus. So, no matter what, I can only quit after 2nd week of February 2011. Sigh~ Why waste my effort working OT for whole of June/July, and not getting what im suppose to get? Pathetic right?

Went to Crowne Plaza, Azur Restaurant, again last thursday. Met Steven (e Executive Assistance Manager) there, Mom asked him about e price per day for a suit room there. Might be heading down there to view e suit room and decide if I wanna spend my birthday there with my close ones. I mean my drinking kakis. Lets drink till I drop! LOLs~ If not, i'll be celebrating my bday in either Dragonfly or Shanghai Dolly or Doll House. Depends! All my usual drinking kakis will be invited.

Sisters, dun be offended. Like i've said in my previous post. Am getting sick & tired of everything. Dun feel like celebrating with problems and troubles. Anyway, most of you dun chiong/club and most importantly, dun drink. So, am dun think am wanna waste your precious tyme there doing nothing jst to attend my bday celebration. But no worries, those drinkerS, i'll definitely invite you guys to attend if im really celebrating my bigday in e club/pub.

Met up with Sindy laopo last wednesday at 313 for dinner. Had a really great catch up with her. The feeling is still e same. We can talk about anything, anywhere! Still my best drinking kakis! Wahahahs~ The frequency we had few years back. Its still e same. Jio-ed her for BKK trip too. Wahahahhas~ I've realize something, i'll jio e whole world out for holiday with me. But jst not my sister. Other den Fen. LOLs. Never once we had go overseas together before. Not even Malaysia. Okay, i've jio-ed Fen to taiwan before. But last min due to my godson, she cant fly with me. >.< Min also did book e tix to taiwan after hearing e air tix so cheap. Met up with her in taiwan for some chit chat and that's it.

Shouldnt it be a very happy trip if you're traveling with your sisters? I dunno. Cux i've never travel with them before~

2010-08-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

uhoo~ Im here to blog again. But this tyme round, there's nothing much for me to blog. Jst wanna rant about my huse, starting from today, i'll need to use the public toilet for 12days! And this is seriously shyt man. Imagine i've got to do all my big & small business there? In a public toilet jst situated below ur huse void deck? Ohmy~ Torture!! Its a upgrading program. So bo bian, die die also mst endure. And i've already made up my mind. Im gonna pack my bag every evening once i reach home and walk over to Tampines stadium to shower. I dun mind paying for e entrance fees for 12 days!! Sigh!!

Belle will be going over to his "ahgong" huse to stay for e tyme being. Gonna miss her like hell. This week gonna be a tough week for me too. Sigh~ Gonna start doing research on e course my company gonna sponsor me to study, gonna get myself prepared for all e stress n nonsense (from myself) again. LOLS. Gonna start my isolate, isolat-ing & isolat-ed thinggy soon. =) Problems, why are u always here with me? Non-stop! You really love me so much so that you dun wanna leave me? Sigh~

Blogs, are for humans to rant everything they want. Including me, am also humans! Am also ranting things here. Be it happy or sad. So dear friend, no worries~ You can blog everything you want. Dun be afraid to hurt others feeling by blogging out your own feelings. Otherwise, it defeat e purpose of having a blog. =)

Ohs yah, i've been behaving very weird recently. I keep eating non-stop! I can eat 4meals within 3hours & yet, im still not full!! WTF is this? I dun wanna be a fat pig! Oh God, save me please!

Esther Tan, please msg me soon. Faster go think of what u wanna do n whr u wanna eat. I suppose its ur turn to organize e gathering this tyme round huh. Bleah~ Please note that your deadline to meet up is by e end of August (this month.) Understand? ^^

Arrgghh, I really dunno what to blog liao sia~ Maybe my tweet tweet msges are too obvious, i also think so.. But who really cares? So long i've made e decision myself, without hurting others. So be it~ Let it be~ Let it be~ Let it be~

Opps, I went Keyaki last week to celebrate my dasao's 25th birthday with Edward. Hmm, e food there.. Standard drop until dunno whr liao. They renovated e place. Giving people those "high" class look. And e design jst sux! It simply jst pissed me off when I see e current Keyaki. I still prefer e old Keyaki. Keyaki now dun look like a Japanese Restaurant, even Waraku or Sakae sushi, they look mre "Japan" to me. Sigh~ Its jst so disappointing. Keyaki was once my fav Restaurant. With e best ambiance and best food. Everything in tip top quality. But now, speechless~ =( Not gonna spend my money there anymre. Unless my fav chef is back. Hehehehs~ The food there jst dun worth e price. Too expensive. Not up to expectation. Especially if you wanna compare e food now with e past. Tsk tsk tsk~ Keyaki, this brand, no longer worth e price~ So what its a 5 star hotel's Japanese Restaurant?

Ps : Not gonna celebrate my bday this year again. Too sian alr. Also getting sick & tired of everything. Maybe i'll spend my bday in e club, since its a Wed night! Most of you dun club/chiong. And gonna work e next day. So this shall be e best plan. Gonna chiong frm Friday night all e way to Wed night. But definitely resting on Mon & Tue. Oh yah~ Natas fair coming. Im flying on e 4th Nov. Hmm, maybe I shld change my flight to Mon! A week in advance~

Tada ~ Annyeong ~

2010-08-04T19:41:00.001+08:00

Alright, I promised myself to blog this week. Not forgetting I promised Min’er in facebook i’ll update what happen recently here. Especially when I saw lots of spider webs here. I abit gao wek. LOLs~ Today post shall be a long long old gramdma story! So be prepared~ Surrender now, (meaning, leave this plave now) or prepare to fight! (finish reading this boring old grandma post, if you can)

Advance 21st Birthday present from my brother & saosao! Dior Wallet!! Show you guys e pic next tyme~

Ohs~ Its Joan BFF bday today!! Hehehes~ Happy Birthday, my dear!!

Before I start with my post today, i’ve a great news to share with you guys~

FINALLY, I FOUND MY SINDY LAOPO!! Whoohoo~ Gonna meet up with her real soon!

Ps : Min, u wanna join us? Sindy say she miss u too~

Okay, shall start with my post liao.

I knw e problems lies with me & only ME!! But seriously, I cant help it. Tell me, will ya not lose your appetite when you saw someone sharing e same frog leg porridge with you, used their chopsticks to stir here n there jst to get e portion he wants? Best part was, after he used his chopsticks, he will put it ON e table (KOPITIAM’s table, meaning = kan si lang eh DIRTY) and continue to eat his porridge. When he wants more sauce or porridge or whatsoever, he will use tt chopsticks to stir in ur SHARE-d food agn!

Tell me, how are you gonna eat tt? Not to say, you’ve got to pay $20 to jst eat ONE SMALL bowl of porridge & tt’s it! He finished up e whole thing! E mst dulan part was, he dun eat e frog leg until very “clean”. You can see there’s still lots of meat attach to e bones & tt’s fucking disgusting n its jst a WASTE OF LIMBUS MONEY!!

Not as if I wanna gek gao until like this. Jst tt, if my money were to spend in this fucking make me dulan ways. I rather donate my money to NKF!! Though people may misused my money & think its PEANUTS to them. But at least, I dun get to see how they spend my fucking money & I dun need to feel disgusted by those idiotic acts.

Every single tyme I complaint to you what happen, every tyme you will find excuses or even throw tantrums at me! Jst to protect ur brother, ur relatives & ur loved ones~ Im always not in tt cb list! Am I even your daughter? Forever bias!!

So what’s e point of having a family dinner where I got to throw my money into e bins & also not having a full meal. (I also dun expect e food to be fantastic) =.=’ I rather not eat or eat alone! Eat Maggi Mee also cheaper n nicer. F3

Yes, I’ll be fucking happy & glad tt you always give me whatever I want. Especially, MONEY!! But there’s something, NEVER in your life, you’ve given me before. Since e day I was born, till now!! Not a single tyme. Your voice!! Whenever I need someone to speak up for me. Forever, you are not e one! Even my brother, will speak up for me. So, what’s your job & responsible as a mom? To support me financially? To provide me a roof to sleep? Ohs pls~ If tt’s e case, I suppose a role of a mom is FUCKING EASY TO BE!!

Yeah, I sound super mean, I shouldn’t say my mom in this way. Nor should I describe her like this. But this is what she’s been doing. Since young, when my grandma was ABUSING me at home. Whenever I complaint to her. She will jst kept quiet!! I’ll get scolding at home for nothing. Like, SINCE YOUNG!! Till e very day you divorce with ur son’s father. I thought I was out of hell! But nah~ Things remains unchanged! E only thing changed was, instead of my grandma scolding me for nothing, now I kena from your brother. Jst becux he needs help from me. Hey!! Im educated, but tt doesn’t means I knw e whole world things. CCB!! If you need help from other people, please learn to use the correct tone to approach people. So what you’re my uncle? BIG FUCK?!? Dunno how to speak properly? Den how are you gonna survive outside promoting your products? And when people tell you tt they are not able to help! Jst leave!! Why force people to think of a solution for you? Why use tone as if you’re threatening people? Sound as if I owe you Millions of dollars!! Whatever you said, I mst try my fucking best to do for you. Nah~ You’re not even my father! Dun use those “im ur lao bei” attitude to talk to me!

This is even my fault? Haha!! To my mom, she thinks tt im ridiculous!! Cux whenever I complaint about her brother’s attitude to her. She will jst fuck me upside dwn & let me see her jiaobin!

Guys, tell me, since when you’ve heard me telling you guys tt my mom actually speak up for me in this family? My eldest brother is always e one helping me n supporting me!! When im sick, my brother still will call me to check on me, if im feeling better. But my mom? Hah!! Only 1 out of 10 tymes I’ll heard her asking about my condition! And tt was e tyme I went hospital for my stitches! Tt’s it. That's pathetic huh?

Sometymes, being too independent at home is also not a good thing huh! E mre independent you are, e mre ur mom will thinks tt you wont DIE so easily!! So she can jolly well saved up all her care n concern! Ah fuck!! If my brother, Royston Lau were to fall sick! I tell you! 100% different story!! Its always like this!!

IF I have e ability, I would have shifted out of this place myself! To live alone, isolate myself from the others, especially my relatives! Except few of them. They mean nothing to me too~ So why bother. Not becux of ahGong, I wouldn’t have stayed here. I wouldn’t force myself to live in a old & dirty environment/area! Cats running around e blocks, cockroaches flying here n there. Also to give you a heart attack in e middle of e night when you’re using e toilet! I wouldn’t have to see so many Malays n Indians loitering around my house area. I wouldn’t need to spend so much money on cab fare to go town. All my friends are living around NorthEast side. CLEAN, QUIET & at least, NEWer den Tampines! Seriously, Tampines is so out of place. It makes me dun feel like going out at all. Yet, I cant. The mre I stay at home, e mre pek chek I am. The mre I hate this place. Ohs, buying a second hand flat~ My mom told me tt. We actually went to view quite a numbers of flat. Same problem, either too expensive or that fucking area is flooded with MALAYS & CATS!!! Hah, best part!! Its Tampines area again!! KNS!! Reason being, if we stay nearer to ahGong, we can meet him for dinner or lunch mre often. Blah blah blah~ Whatever shyt lah! Forever use ahgong to "deh" me!

Sigh, enough of all of e above! My mood is getting from bad to worst. The mre I blog, e mre pek chek I am now! *Argghhh* F5

Now, tyme for something happy~ A great weekend spend with friends & sleeping! Hmm~ I LIKE~

Met up with my SaiMei last Friday @ Vivo Sushi Tei. Min surprised us with a special guest! Mr Irdwan! Wahahahah~ Our 刀下留人! Mwahahahahahs~ He only came to say hi to us and went to meet his friends for dinner. After Sushi Tei, I went home to put my bag and also to change into something casual! Hate to wear office skirts! Belle almost made Esther cried~ Reason being? Hahhahahas~ Shhh~ *cannot say, ltr esther angry* LOLs. Pass Esther a box of mask & here we go to Terminal 2 to slack & had Swensen~ Esther drove us there de wor! Mai siao siao arr~ This char bor driving skill kan zai! But she nearly got us into accident. All thanks to Ong MinMin! Made her laugh so hard till she cant concentrate driving. Hahahas~ No pictures for e day, simply becux we din took any grp pics! Hmms, its tyme for SaiMei to update some new profile pics liao! Hahahas~

SaiMei, shall we have a gathering every month?!? Hey, tt doesn’t include birthday celebrations huh!! LOLs.

Conversation between Tan Beng Guan & Ong MinMin

TBG : yu’MIN~~~~~~

MinMin : What lahx!! I tying my shoelace lah!! *Buay song face* (actually she’s sleeping! LOLs)

Hahahas~ Saturday woke up around 2pm. Went to view flats around Tampines area again. =.= Never ending~ After that went home & get myself prepared. Meeting Joan 4pm @ Bugis. She wanna buy some party hats/accessories~ Cux we’re having a bday celebration at beach Cabana. Reach bugis, found e shop. But there’s nothing to buy there. So went Bugis Junction to grab some finger food to eat. Both of us too hungry liao! Tak bulek tahan~ As usual, I had my fav Korea BBQ Pork & Joan had her meesua~ Cab-ed over to East Coast. Slack around e beach area to wait for Joan’s friends. (Velvet & Peter) Took some pics there while waiting for e rest to reach. Saw quite a few dumb peoples there. Flying kites? At east coast? So wrong please!! We saw e helicopter flying our National Flag for National Day Parade there too. Going round and round in e air for more than 15 mins. Think they are waiting for command. And we actually realized tt they din iron our Singapore Flag! Ohs no~ So xia suay~ Hahahas. Damn obvious you knw?!?

Velvet and Peter came to look for us after their pool match. Beach Cabana~ A nice place to chill out with friends~ Ordered our food and a tower of beer, I had Seafood Combo. Hmm, not bad~ Joan had Cabana’s Combo. I think hers taste nicer. Their bake potato is heaven manx!! Yummy~ Ah Yang n Fred came to join us few hours ltr?!? Cux Fred jst knock off from work & ah Yang was waiting for him to come together. While e guys are having their late dinner, we ordered a bottle of red wine and soon after tt, we ordered another tower of beer. Wahahhahas! April joined us after her work too. After April had her late dinner, we played Indian pokers~ Damn funny! Girls always help girls~ The bill for tt night was about $360?!? Think should be around there.

After Cabana, Velvet and Peter went home. While e rest of us went prawning. Wahahah~ Girls VS Boys! Abit wrong, cant describe them with e word boys~ LOLs. Anyway, we girls won!! Simply becux we have at least 3 groups of people giving us their prawns! LOLs~ But there’s a big hole in our net & many of our prawns swim swim swim their way back into e big pool! Angry!! But we actually had lots of fun tt night. AND AND AND, I NEED TO SAY THIS OUT LOUD! FINALLY I DARE TO HOOK E EARTHWORM LIAO!! WAHAHAAS~ WELL DONE JESS!! You’ve got urself a level up! Level 2 now! For prawning! LOLs~ We left there around 4.45am. Reach home almost 5AM! Thanks Ahyang for sending us home! Poor April got to go back home herself. Cux she stay in Jurong!! LOLs.

Sunday~ As I said, a great weekend spent with friends & sleeping. So Sunday is my sleeping day. But I woke up at 11am to eat bfast with korkor, saosao, rz & ahgong! After that went back home again. Suppose to meet Jackson & Apple for movie around town area. Too tired! So called Jackson & told him I cant make it. And went back to sleep again. Was being forced to wake up around 7 plus 8pm. To eat dinner with ahgong. Tt was e tyme I regretted waking up! Drag myself up jst to eat tt fucking dinner. To suffer rather den enjoy~ Tt was e day where my mom’s brother finished up e whole frog leg porridge incident. Me & my saosao each only manage to eat a small bowl of porridge. _|_ I admit, im gek gao. Cux I dun like to spend my HARD EARN money on people I dun like. Not to say this tyme round, im WASTING my hard earn money instead of spending it! Roar!!

Got to end my post here. Been spending my whole 2 hours blogging this in office not doing any work at all. But who cares~ Peak period over!! I’ve got nothing to do at all. So boring~ Bleahx! Oh yah~ Might be going to prawn with Joan again tonight. Think im crazy liao!!

2010-07-12T00:17:00.010+08:00

Jess.Jiayu & Belle ^^v

Some people jst take things for granted. Esp when they think that they've thousands of excuses/reasons to take things for granted. But anyway, am not gonna be bothered anymre. Cant be bothered too. Am do not hav those America tyme to waste.

Attitude sux! Simply jst cant tolerate it. Seems like im e 1 who owe you things. Am starting to realize tt i've been behaving mre like a kid. But who cares~ Im going under so much stress at work. Worst still, after work, I still got to stress about other stuffs. Seriously, am need some tymes alone.

Few hours back, I really got e urge to move all my things out of e huse. Sometymes, really cant stand everything. Almost every single tyme, am always e one who kena all ur temper for nth.

This week will be a very busy week for me n Fen. Got to clear my work before Friday. Cux need to take leave on Friday. As its Fen Big Day. Hope everything goes well & smoothly for her.

Nights~

2010-07-08T22:21:00.003+08:00

Alright, im blogging in e office at this tyming right now. WTF? Office? Yeah, Been staying back late to clear my work for e past 2 days. Sigh~

Was on urgent leave on Tue, due to some issue & last min, due to Not a single issue at all. 6 mre months to end this year & im left with 2 days of Annual Leave? WTF?

I admit, im really not in good mood recently. Especially when im back from Taiwan. Mainly becux of tons of work waiting for me to clear everyday. Or rather, by this Friday. Which is tomorrow. Cux Boss going on leave next week. E level of stress im going thru, no1 seems to understand. >.< All clients always send emails in and say, this is a urgent case. Please help. E word Urgent, seems to be e key word.

Im not a machine. Neither a superwoman. Everyone wants to be e priority. But who actually spare a thought for me? Not aiming nor shooting any1.

Sigh~ I shall stop my post here. Nthing much to blog too. E mre I blog, e mre misunderstanding will pop up. Tada~

Hav a early rest guys~ =)

2010-07-05T03:09:00.002+08:00

Flying back to Singapore tomorrow~ Arrgghh! Really dun feel like going back at all. Dun like the weather here. >.< But really enjoy shopping here. Shop like nobody business~ Hehehehs

FenFen i'll be back tomorrow~ So smile~ Welcome me back bah!

Hate to face reality. Can I dun work and travel & enjoy myself everyday? >.<

2010-07-01T00:16:00.000+08:00

Oppa~ Happy Birthday~ ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-06-30T01:46:00.005+08:00

Blogging at e Hotel lobby now. Jst met up with Minmin. =)

Jst wanna say, I miss my Mickey. Wonder is he okay? Any1 rape him when im not at home. Is my darling Belle alright? Wonder did she bully my Mickey?!? Hehehhes..

Im happily enjoying my life here in taiwan. Got to knw new friends here. Friendly & fun~ Going to sing K with them or rather her on 1st July. Hehehhes..

Oppa's birthday!!! x33 x33 x33

This is only my 5th day in taiwan & im spending like nobody business. Wahahahas~ Im left with not much cash with me now. LOL! E worst thing is, my luggage is FULL!! OMFG!! There's still lots of things I haben buy. How? Charm~ Sure die! Hahahhas.

Went to 85 degree C ytd with Min & Vic to La Kopi. Send her back to hotel ard 3.30AM? LOLs~ She mst be damn tired. >.<

Not forgetting my Ng FenFen~ Miss her like hell. Especially her nonsense!!! Roar~ LOLs~ Nth much to blog too. So shall end my post here. ^^v Update agn on 1st July ba~ If I still rmb!! Wakakakaka~

Oppa, Happy Birthday in advance!

Currently enjoying this show in taiwan~ Oh My Lady! Even though i've alr watched it online, but its a nice show to watch agn when there's nth for you to do in e hotel's room. =)

Night guys~

2010-06-22T01:49:00.002+08:00

A feeling that cant be explained.

I've read tt email early in e morning. Tears jst roll down my cheeks unknowingly. An unexplanable heartache was all I can feel. I din reply to tt email, becux im speechless. Both of us arent feeling good today. Your facial expression shows it all. Im sorry.

We met up today, with e others. E atmosphere was kinda weird for me. & I couldnt make myself feel comfortable there. Words are nvr Expensive. I always believe in this. Its not ur fault, neither its mine fault. Jst that, when things happened, diff people hav diff point of view & stand.

Its unfair for me to judge, its unfair for u to be sandwich in between. I choose to keep quiet, in order not to add on burden to u. I've tons of things to blog about this. But I find it meaningless.

I wanted to tell u how I feel, but all I saw, was ur backview. & so, I turned n walk away.

Can you imagine, I was looking at ur phone number e whole night. Without any courage to phone/text u. Becux you dun deserve all these shyts of mine. You're innocent from e very beginning. So I've decided, to keep u in e dark. To lock my feelings in my heart.

I'll reply to that email, once im able to communicate with e world agn. I've been isolating myself with e world for so long. I need some tyme. To learn e basic agn. Its easy to lock e heart, its hard to find e key to unlock it. I hope u understand.

Once again, im SORRY ! ! !

2010-06-07T19:48:00.002+08:00

Got a surprised msged from Fen last week! Seriously, that small lil msg really makes my day so damn colourful. Damn stress recently, be it work, family or even sisters. Hah, many mst be wondering what kind of stress Im having with my sisters~ Shall slowly disclose it in my post today.

I've been debating with myself whether to blog abt this matter or not. Since this is my blog, & I shouldnt hide anything here, cux this is my territory. I think there shouldnt be any problem with my post today.

Dear sis,

I dun knw if you feel e same thing as I do, but if you ever realize, we're drifting further away frm each other. We were once e closest! & you even assured me before (few years back) that i'll still be ur best n closest no matter what. Even we arent meeting up as often as before.

Im starting to have this feeling, im losing you. Sooner or later~ Like totally. In others' eyes, we might still be e same as before, but my heart no longer feel e same. The feeling is nvr e same as before anymre. We were once a grp, or rather, still a grp of 3. Even till now~ But now, im mre close with e other 1 den you~

You once told me, we shared no secrets. You'll always be there for me & support me no matter what. Me & "her" both rank e same in ur heart. But ever since "some" things happened. Frm my point of view, u're not with me anymre. I dun knw how many tymes u've helped me to explain things to e others like, "Jess is always like tt, you shld knw her character well~" or even "Jess dun mean it tt way~ I apologize on her behalf!" Seriously, I dunno if u've ever said this before to any1 or not. Cux you nvr told me abt things like this before.

I no longer think & feel im ur no.1~ I dun need to be ur no.1, but all I want is e feeling n chemistry we used to hav. A frequency whr no1 could understand.

We used to meet up with each other for shopping or lunch/dinner often. You used to msg me silly & stupid stuffs to disturb me. But now, e only tyme i'll received ur msg is either when WE sisters are meeting up or you when need my help/assistance.

I knw im getting closer n closer with e another sister. But tt doesnt mean u're being forgotten. When i've gd stuffs, u're still e 1st who come into my mind to share things with. When I saw something u might like, i'll take n pay for e item without any hesitation. But all these doesnt matters anymre. Cux im slowly learning how to isolate myself with others.

*END of my own THOUGHTS post* (Kindly read & ignore e above post, as this post is only for me, myself & I)

Dear Fen,

Jst read ur blog. Dun cry anymre. Sayang~ Sorry, im having my peak period now. Cant meet you as often. But you can always call me to talk to me whenever you want. Jst like before. Guai~ Love Love!!

& also I wanna scold you liao. You msg me say u wanna meet me go out on sat. End up! You nvr msg me!!! Roar! >.< LOLS~ Jst kidding. I knw u're busy with ur wedding stuffs. Im jst a call away. Jst let me knw if you need my help!

Shall continue my post other days bah! When I hav e mood to do so~

2010-05-01T17:41:00.002+08:00

Went to take out my stitches yesterday. The pain was bearable~ Or to say, its not painful at all. But when e doc was using e scissor to cut e thread, woah~ Tt's e part where its painful. Hmm, saw e scars on my chin. Was pretty happy tt its healing quite fast.

Nothing much to blog recently. Met up with Joan, Pearl, Fen & WeiJie for dinner @ 新旺茶餐厅 on Thur. Had a great tyme with my girls~ Din take any pics~ >.< Girls, let's meet up real soon to buy our dress & also its tyme to plan how should we tekan WeiJie & his brothers~ Hiak Hiak Hiak!!! Not forgetting, e amount of AngBaos~ Wahahahhas! *Evil Smile*

This month its gonna be burn a big big hole in my pocket month. Got to shop for my dress, got to attend Fen's ROM, follow by Leslie's wedding on e 23rd next follow by my godsis' wedding on e 28th of May! WTF? So many angbaos to give. How to tahan sia? LOLS~ Still got to save up for my Tw trip.

Sigh~ I've yet to plan e itinerary. Oh no~ Headache! Blog again when im free ba~ Its dinner tyme now~ Hehehehs!

2010-04-28T03:33:00.011+08:00

27April2010 (once & for all)

A tiring yet happening day~ Went office to clear some work & also to key in tymesheet in e early afternoon. LOLs~ Din had my breakfast nor lunch as there isnt any food I can eat, all thanks to my lovely stitches. No oily food, no deep fried food, no spicy food, no dark soya sauce or seafood, blah blah blah~

Having PMS too. So was throwing temper e whole fking day. Left office ard 4pm. Seriously not feeling well as my wounds & ulcer hurts! Fen called, asked me to meet her at Marina Sq as she's trying her wedding gowns & need some opinion. Bused dwn to look for her. Jst when I reach, all e aunties (e staffs of e bridal shop) was looking at me. Asking me, what happen to me? I was like, huh? Oh, I nearly fainted in e toilet & jst fell dwn like tt loh. Their reaction was, WTF? Xiaomei, you fell until so 厉害 ar? LOLs.

When it was WeiJie's turn to try his vest, Fen actually told me about her plan of her ROM & wedding dinner, blah blah blah. Told me about her decision who will be her bridesmaids everything. Almost settled everything. Only left with e themes of her ROM & wedding. And Fen went back to try her gowns again. Took some pictures of e pretty bride & e handsome groom. Hahahas~ Opps~

Gave Fen some opinion & when we were about to leave tt place, Fen borrowed my iphone to log in her Facebook. The next moment she grab me & say : "Jess, she deleted me in fb!" My reaction was, huh? Maybe my iphone got problem lah. Dont think so much lah. I log in my fb & check for you loh. WOW~ To my surprise, I was being deleted TOO! LOLs~ Felt hurt? Abit bah, maybe 20%? Nah, not tt much though. Hah! Hurt becux? Someone who u called sister for almost 8 years jst deleted u like this. Ima human! At least, I've feelings~

Btw, am not trying to show my authority towards her. But, please show some respect. I dare to post it in my fb, im not afraid tt you'll see it. So what? Do you think I care? Remember? Jess, well known for "you think she care" attitude & especially her sarcastic remarks. I did not ask Min to delete e recipe without your consent. Its none of my business~ I was jst telling one of e blog owner to delete it away. Mst I seek ur approval to take dwn tt recipe in ur blogshop? When you din even have e courtesy to ask for my permission in e 1st place. I knw im selfish~ So what? ~.~ You see arr, even when you're using other ppl's blogskin, you also will give credits to e owner right? Simple logic, dunno how to understand meh? =.=

Regarding e 二人组, please dont drag innocent ppl in & classify her in e same group as me. I sounds bad, I seems bad, I might be a btych or even a slut. I dont give a damn. But be fair to her. You are e one who said e wrong things in e 1st place to make her upset. Mine is becux im being selfish & do not wish to share e recipe with others. 2 different things & you jolly well lump them together. WTF?

I used to say, my blog, my rules. You obey! Not happy? Jst leave this place. Sometymes I really do wonder, does short ppl really have lower IQ & EQ? O.O I dunno. Guys, if you knw e answer. Please let me knw. LOLs~ My point of view, please dont drag innocent ppl in again & classify them in e same group with me. Like, AGAIN!!!

Ohs, you always need to tolerate with our "jokes" & also tio shoot by "us" or rather ME! Hahahas~ Its not becux when we arent happy with what others say we can throw temper & show attitude. Is becux we can tahan what ppl say about us. Or rather not us, but ME! You arent good with words, this is always e excuse my poor friend tells me. The problem here is, you arent good with words & ur reaction arent tt fast enough to react & shoot us back. But tt doesnt means we cannot tahan ur bullets! Blame urself for being WOLS! Tsk!!!

Should I blame myself for being too fast in reaction when ppl tends to shoot e bullets at me? Or should I blame my gift from god tt my words are sharp & harsh enough to shoot through ur bulletproof vest? I knw my words are always very poisonous & harsh! But, its a gift frm e god. I cant do anything but to accept it. ^.^v

For e HongGan thinggy. I've already apologize to you. I din knw it was ur Mum's bday celebration. I thought you were jst having a normal dinner appointment with ur friends. And yet you can tell me you can only reach around 9? So you expect me to miss my concert & to squeeze all e way out jst to bring e tix to you? Ridiculous right? If I were to knw its ur Mum's bday celebration, tt words wouldnt have come out from my mouth. I swear! I've already did what I can. I apologized straight to you when Joan told me its ur Mum's bday celebration & you accepted it. I did my part. And if you wanna 记仇, there's nothing I can do anymre.

You said it would be better if we werent friends from e very beginning. And I knw you wont regret what you've said. And I truly hope tt this day wont come! Neither will I regret to lose a friend like you. Since 8 years of friendship can be so fragile/weak. I dont think there's a need for me to hold on to this friendship too.

All e best to u, my dear EX-friend!!!

And THANK YOU VERY MUCH readers for spending ur precious tyme to read this post! =)

2010-04-26T15:40:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I really cant take it anymre. I really feel like moving out now! & I mean it NOW!! People, when you are smoking those nbcb Indian ciggs, please lah.. CCB!! Dont come into e aircon room straight lah. I makes me feel so gangkor esp when Im not feeling well. CCB! The whole room is so damn fking smelly lah.

Worst, when Im sleeping, this barbarian jst came into e room speaking damn loud like no others business I WANNA WATCH E TV! Fuck lah! Is this even ur room now? Cant you see that im sleeping? Are you that old till there's a need for you to go for checkups for your eyesight? I knw I sounds sibeh duper mean! But, this is really ridiculous man! Even though im moving out of this place in a few months tyme, but mst I always tolerate to all these nonsense each & every tyme? So what he's an elder of mine? That doesnt means he can show no respect to others.

Been feeling unwell for e whole day. Not to say am having PMS now!

By e way, I fell dwn last Saturday (24April2010) again. Like AGAIN!!! WTF? Alright, wasnt feeling well since last Thur. Dragged myself to work on Fri & went home straight after work. Sat morning, woke up & went to bathe. Due to hot weather. Kan si lang eh HOT! Anw, my huse heather was spoiled for almost a month? And still not fixed until now. Went bathe! Nearly fainted & e next moment, I was alr on e floor. Very obvious I fell down again! Hahahahs~ Saw blood damn fking lots of blood, I tot it was my mouth bleeding. So went to rinse my mouth & continue showering. Until I touched my chin & realized there's a FKING BIG HOLE there. I can put my whole finger (place ur fingers horizontal)in, its a 2 cm deep cut. Hais~ Kan suay sia!

Mommy & ahFat sent me to Changi General Hospital A&E. Was being forced by e nurse to sit on e wheelchair throughout. Spent my whole afternoon in e hospital. Doc wants me to go for Xray. After Xray, e doc told me that my cut was so deep that they cant glue e wounds back for me. So that means, I've got to stitch e wounds back. Waited outside e Operation Theater for more than 45mins. OMFG! The OT Room was so cold sia. The nurse actually gave me 2 blankets & im still shivering like mad. At first I tot I was jst being too nervous. But somehow, e doc also commented it freezing cold inside. Had 5 stitches and went to Counter 11 for another injection. ATT? Dunno lah! After jiu went home le! Sigh~

To Be Continue.. ...

2010-04-18T22:53:00.002+08:00

I've no mood to blog at all, but I jst wanna type/rant something here. Am only human, jst like anyone of you. Am nothing special, not as if im having 2 brains to think, or even im gifted in e way I can read ur mind easily or to knw what's gonna happen/happening.

Many may knw what im referring abt, some may not even realize what's going on now. After I heard what happened, I've already did whatever I can. But yet, if you still choose not to forgive & forget, there's nothing I could do & am lazy to say anything anymre.

To You :

I jst wanna let you knw, no matter what happens, you will still have us with you. Dont worry abt him, he'll be fine! The only thing you can do is to give him ur full support. Dont stress up urself. You can always talk to me. =) Im always here for you. All e sisters will always be there to wipe ur tears away. I may not be able to help, but I can always give you a big hug. You're not alone~ Remember this!! Loves~ <3

Im tired, but I jst couldnt get to sleep now. Seems like somethings are bothering me. But am totally have no idea what's bothering me now. PMS? Maybe?!? Cux gonna lai ang soon. Gonna go rest soon. Night peeps~

2010-04-10T06:33:00.002+08:00

Alright, I know I super long nvr blog liao. & I saw lots & lots of spider webs around. *brush brush*

Anyway, I've nth much to update recently. Jst tt im being god damn real sick this few days? Or rather this week. Monday was on leave, as we need to go to Lim Chu Kang cemetry for QingMing prayers. Den off to SinMing Rd (GuangMingShan) for prayers too. Home-d after tt. Was having fever on e way to Lim Chu Kang. Tue, was on MC. Wed went back to work. Really bth & came back ard 4pm? Sigh~ Thur went to see e doc again before my lunch tyme. DOc gave me 2 mre days of MC.

Seriously, I think tt e doc wants me to die. E medicine he prescribe seems to be so strong tt I always KO-ed after eating e medicine w/o fail. & I've been feeling so breathless & giddy every now & then. Arrrgghh.. Im blogging using my bro's comp & I simply jst HATE e keyboard. Kan hard to type. Update mre when my dearest Lappy is back with me.

2010-03-21T18:09:00.005+08:00

What a boring weekend! Went to view some flats ytd. As we are planning to move out of this place. Seriously cant cant cant tolerate all these nonsense anymre. I dunno if you knw this feeling. But it seriously SUX!

E problem I mentioned in e previous post had alr been solved. But now, here comes another problem. Alright, I knw this have been my own problem. But I really cant take it. Maybe e others can, but so SORRY! Not me! I CANT!!! All day long, there's this irritating person keep "nag" at u non-stop. Or rather, I should use this word, KaoBei!

I dun understand why mst he come to our room to watch tv so much? When Ahgong's room also have e scv box. & out of 10 times, I've got to let him watch those IDIOTIC / REPEATED show 8 times and above. Asked him go Ahgong's room watch, he dun want. Say wanna stay in our room to watch tv. _|_ Same channel, got difference meh? This is ridiculous. He always talk nonsense in him e room, whr I find it irritating. Walk in & out of e room! Always go to e living room to smoke dunno simi Indian Ciggs & make e whole huse stink like hell, and he actually came into e room to continue to watch his show when tt SUPER STINK smell.

I really wanna move out asap! People might say I look dwn on him. But sorry to say, is not I look dwn on him, is jst tt he is super irritating. If you were to live with him for abt a week, I think u will ki siao. By seeing e way he play with Belle, makes me even dulan. Wanna shout at him also cannot. Told him many times dont do tt, he seems dun understand at all. & jst show u 1 innocent smile. _|_

Been telling my cousins to warn him not to mess with me, not to TOUCH my things. Not to disturb me. But still, he still dun get it. Mst I really make things ugly? In a way for him to learn his lesson?

Every single soul in e huse knws tt I HATE people to touch my things. Yet this itchy hands always do things purposely. You tell me lah, this kind of people kiam kan or not? Or am I being too petty? I fuck care how gd he used to treat me when im young, I dun care what happened to this person in e past, I only knw tt im not e one who causes him to be in this way. Whatever this person is doing now, is really getting on my nerves.

Buay Zhi Dong is e only word to describe him now. -.= Is it becux im too "FRIENDLY" or becux I no longer speak up becux I choose to blog it here. He seldom disturb others. & this makes me even pekchek/dulan! Why mst I be e one? ROAR!!!

2010-03-02T16:27:00.001+08:00

I think I'll move out of this place by e end of this week..

我可不想成為千古罪人！

2010-03-02T12:17:00.002+08:00

Jon MSGed me, AhBee is gone..

Meaning another 1 is moving out of this place..

What's going on now, I really dunno!! Maybe help Jon to get a job, will be e last thing I'll do for this family le ba.. Sigh..

2010-03-01T16:08:00.002+08:00

Currently on MC, resting at home now~

AhGong made a comment ytd night while viewing his bday pics. I still prefer that day's pic. Sigh~

Met up with Jason Lin last Saturday. Been such a long time I meet up with this Sec sch frenx. Really need to thks Jason for that night. He actually waited for me for more than 2 hours? When I was hiding at one corner crying like fuck, worrying abt Sunday. He msged me n say, no worries, he can wait. Cux we're suppose to meet up for some coffee/drinking session that night. I rmb he started to msg me when I was blogging my previous post in Chinese thru my iPhone.

Almost out to drink every week ever since Jan22. Woowhoo~

I need lots n lots of alcohol. Please date me out on weekends~ Lets drink like nobody business! Im gonna start living in my own world from now on~

DRINK DRINK DRINK!!!

MARTELL MARTELL MARTELL!!!

ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL!!!

2010-02-27T20:44:00.002+08:00

唐，你在哪裡？我好辛苦，好難過，好無助！你聽到了嗎？

2010-02-27T19:12:00.003+08:00

Sigh~ Tml will be AhGong's 80th Birthday. Yet almost every1 are moving out tonight. I seriously dunno what to do & what to say.

AhGong wanted all his grandchildren to stay with him. But his attitude n temper are chasing them off. Or maybe its my fault? Becux I blog those things out here & they happen to read it? I dunno. Jst feeling some sort of guilty. If im part & partial of it. Dun think they will turn up for tml celebration. Esp Zen.

AhGong's health been getting from bad to worst. Yet he still wanna chase all of them out. Is it becux when those elder gets older, they behave in a very childish way and also say things without thinking? 说也不是，骂也不是！What he wants? Sigh!!!

Stress, Edward work so hard to make sure every1 of us are by his side. Staying under e same roof with him. But I seriously dun understand why mst he behave in that way & say those crude words to them. Sigh~

Now Mom is also very angry with AhGong & also wanna move out. Sigh~

Roy bro is also in deep trouble now. Sigh~ Everything is happening at e same time.

** If e reasons of them leaving this place is becux of what I complaint in e previous post, den I rather all come back & I shall move out alone. At least e majority are still with him.

Or maybe, by not getting affected by all this things anymre, e ONLY way is to keep a distance away from them. From all my loves1, my cousins n many many mre. Its ve3ry easy to keep a distance away from them. Jst shut up, jst leave this place, jst skip all gatherings e family is having. By behaving e way I used to behave e previous time when I was having problems with my relatives. Maybe tt will helps. By seeing all your loves1 quarreling and leaving this huse. Why not, let them suffer this kind of feelings instead of me suffering?

From now onwards, I shall jst keep quiet & make no comments to everything. Not gonna help out or kaypo abt anything anymore.

I SHALL JST LIVE IN MY OWN WORLD FROM NOW ON!!!

gdBYe family, gdBYe reality world~

2010-02-27T15:56:00.001+08:00

Everyone is moving out.. Is it becux of my post? Or what?

I dun know!!! Sigh~

2010-02-24T19:15:00.005+08:00

Alright, I know my blog went dead for e past 2 months.. I was having a hard time debating with myself, whether to blog here or my 秘密基地! Tons of things happened these 2months. That includes me being back to Single. If course.. Lol!!

Currently I'm having my accounting lesson now, yet am not paying any attention at all.. I'm now busy planning for my Taiwan trip. Still not sure if I'm going there for how long. Sigh!

I no longer care who's gonna read this anymore. Cux I jst couldn't tolerate all e nonsense any longer. I've been staying with inconsiderate ppl for e past few months. & recently, their actions n behaviour are way too much.

Situation:
All of them are NOT working at all. Their only entertainment is only Dota dota & dota!!! Most of my frends should know all my cousins, my mom n I share e same room. Due to limited rooms at ahgong huse! Forget all abt e freedom n Privacy a girl should have! >.< Those bunch of inconsiderate ppls are playing Dota every night without fail. If not, they will watch their anime. I'm consider a non light sleeper. Imagine i have to wake up evy night to ask them lower down e volume. They talk as if there isn't any1 in e room sleeping. E "lights" from e desktop screenR is really killing me. N they will play their games till like 4-5am? Which left me only less den 2 hours of GOOD REST! This week? Things got worst! They slept at ard 6-7am. Meaning, I can't even have a gd rest! At e end of e day, i've to drag myself to work n look like a zoombie everyday.

Can't they jst understand? I need to work! I'm not like any of them. Stay at home shake leg, money will drop from e sky. U might say, my mom will support me if I
really dun work. But please, my mom is paying Almost everythings in tt house. My
mom is already in debts. N now, e expenses every month is increasing. She's paying much more now compared when we are staying at 296. Can dome1 spare a thought for my family? ESP my mom! She's not oblige to feed u guys for free!

1 jst refused to find a decent job. Not even a part time! 2, keep giving e excuse that his brother is arranging job for him. Oh please, use ur fucking brain to think. If
ur bro still can't manage to get u to work for him due to whateva reasons. Can't u jst go fond some job? Or even go 7-11 to work part time? I seriously dun understand why do u ppl likes to gamble so much where u dun even have a single cents in ur pocket. Are u ppl that naive to think tt u sure win? At e end of e day, when u lost, who's gonna pay for u? Please use ur pea brain to think. Or even, even I won money when playing mj with them, at e end, I won't even get a single
cents. & shen I lose, I've got to pay them CASH! Hey, I work n earn those money for my own usage. I'm not ur ATM. So undo u guys think I like to play mj with them? What's e difference of lose n win?

Maybe 1 of them will say, I used up all his ATM money (~$600). But tt's when mommy really in short of cash n ask me to take tt money to pay for my school fees. Yes, I admit, I din return a single cents back to e account. Cux I believe tt my mom gave already paid him back in another way by giving him money wheneva he's broke! It's already exceed e amt I Pay for my school fees. Though my mom din say anything, but I know she's in stress. Becux of all her debts. ESP she's paying almost every bills for ahgong by herself! Including hp bill, or 4D money.

I might sound very gek gao. But they are really not sparing a thought for us. N please be fair to me. Or rather us! Me n Zen rather go to friends place or go out den staying at home. But for him, it's other reason. Totally differnt from mine. I'm not gonna say his things here. Cux it's a secret among us. I can only tell him my problems. N he will also tell me his.

To be continue.. ...

Ps: this is how I feel n what I think. No hard feelings. I jst wanna rant here.

2010-01-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

无名！- 你应该知道意思！

2009-12-28T02:55:00.005+08:00

HAPPY belated MERRY X`MAS~

I have lots n lots of things to update. But I seriously dunno whr to start. Fine, lets start frm 23rd Dec~ This will be a long post!!! But its full of LOVE!!! WAHAHAHAHHAHAS~

23rd Dec`09
Went work as usual! Tired~ Aaron came office to look for me n Mom after work. He came dwn to collect e Ham he ordered frm PanPacific. Cab-ed home! Damn Tired! Soon after I reach home, received sms frm Fen. Went wash car with her. After finish wsahing e car, Baby msg me. Ask if I wanna eat shake shake. Fen asked him come dwn meet us. Met Baby at Mac, ate shake shake & cheeseburger. YumYums~ Fen got jealous when I fed Baby shake shake. >.< After Mac, Fen drove back to Wj huse, while Baby & me walk back home. Baby wanna play with Belle, so bring him up to my huse. Went dwnstairs to slack with Baby, but Roy tt extra came dwn too. =.= Seriously dunno what happen to tt 2 gentlman. Simply can jst cork like nobody business & pangseh me. Having their guys talk machiam im transparent.

Roy went home to contiune his game, while me n Baby walked over to 821? Baby wanna eat e Maggi MeeGoreng there. But too bad, NO MRE!!! Baby had prata instead. We went home after his supper. Roy n RQ were watching movie using my lappy. Ask him rest on my bed to watch e movie with those guys while I grab some sleep. Btw, I din slp for like 2days? Damn Shag~ All thanks to Baby lah~ Opps! LOL

Too many barang barang on my bed, so to make myself feel comfortable, I rested my head on his shoulder? He adjust his position abit jst to let me have mre space to slp. Till now, I still cant figure out why I would go grab his arm tt night when Im sleeping. I jst feel damn comfortable n safe with him ard. I only rmb im alr half gone tt night. Too tired, but, jst tt, you can feel this guy beside u, keep sayang u to slp when he's actually watching movie. If im not wrong, I think he gave me a few kisses on my forehead while im trying to get some rest. & That's how everything changes.

Me? Being too greedy, place my hand inside his shirt. All my close frenx will knw why im having this weird habit. I swear, tt's e BEST BODY TEMPERATURE I've ever feel/felt for e past few years~ *Shy* LOL!!!

24th Dec`09
Baby went home in e morning while Mom n me went SMU for e stupid firm wide meeting. Went 313 to shop ard with Vincent n Jason while waiting for Baby to come. Met up with Baby & we went lots of places~ Hehehhes! Walked here n there! Baby wanna watch movie but seems like all shows are selling fast. Went home ard evening time. We went Century Sq to buy tix as Baby really wanna watch Avatar. Suppose to watch Avatar, but Baby's fren, Chew? joining us for movie too. So we watch B&A instead.

Went home after we bought e tix. Went home bathe. & also had our x'mas dinner at home with ahgong n gangs~ As usual, with Edward ard, all foods on e table mst be cleared! & suay enough, I've got to clear 2turkey drumsticks~ WtF!!! Heng, I've got Baby ard. He finished evything for me~ Hehehehhs~ After dinner we went century to meet chew for our movie. Sheena called ard 23:17pm. Asking what time our show end n if we wanna go dwntown to coutndwn with them. Told her will call her aft my show. But by e time e show ends, its alr 00:00. Merry X'mas~ Accompany Chew to 802 for his dinner. Aft tt, Baby n me went home. Sheena jio-ed for MJ. Kan SHag lah~ Tot of playing 1 rd, but Mom n RQ wanna play another rd. & I really bth liao. 3 days nvr slp le!!! Wanna throw temper le. Baby ask me go rest, den he took over. Actually wanna rest awhile n go out pei Baby de. But, I KO-ed after tt. Baby supposed to work on x'mas. But they played till 7am. Baby not feeling well. So nvr go work! Hehehehs~

25th Dec`09
Nothing much happened. Baby went to play Bball with Roy n RQ, while I stayed at home help Edward send email to Jon. Baby went off ard evening time. Cux he really not feeling well. Sayang Baby~ & also, Im super jealous! Since Day 1, Belle saw him. Belle jiu dun wan me alr. Belle kissed him non-stop lah. Den dun even wanna kiss me for once! NB!! Went Angel's huse to meet with min n hao. Fen n Wj came too. Tt stupid Wilson, refused to let Joan come meet me. LOL!! JK~ they played mj n went off ard 2am? Met Weien n Weilong ard 3plus~ Went RP Mac to slack. Slack till ard 6am, Bbay msged me. Say wake up le. Chatted with Baby awhile. & tt's e 1st time he scold me NB!! All becux of weilong. Ask me mst respect ppl's name! KNS!!! LOL. Went home after tt.

26th Dec`09
Baby went to work. While I went to meet Weien, Weilong n Min for lunch. Supposed to meet at 1pm for lunch. But all overslept. Only Min manage to reach ard 1.30? I reach there ard 3pm. LOL~ Msg baby, but he nvr reply. Cux working.. Too busy~ Went to e new Market to find Fen. Surprise her~ LOL. They had their lunch there. Wj came to fetch fen n we went off to compass to buy plaster. My killer heels. Baby called ard 4plus. Chatted with Baby for few mins? & he got to go back to work le. =( Choon Kiat came to meet en, while me n bun went Ion. She went to work, while I went shopping. I spend almost 2/3 of my bonus liao. LOL!

Meet up with e cousins n had our dinner at Hanabi. Food there was okay~ Not Bad~ Went Raffles City to shop for Edward's present. & off we went to Mind Cafe. Before tt, all wanna go eat dessert. But due e Durrian smell~ Whahahah~ Tt's why all change venue to Mind Cafe. All thks to me. I cant tahan Durrian smell.

Went home ard 1am? Belle shh shh n lai ang on my fav baobao. Damn angry n dulan. Went korkor rm to slp instead. Dun wanna see her!!! Humph. Baby msg me say he reach home le. But he say my replies sound so sad n he called. Ask me what happened. Told him what happen, he say he call me back ltr. He go bathe 1st. No return call frm him ever since he hang up e phone with me. He called me ard 3plus? Saying he with his frenx eating supper. So I was like oh okay~ Enjoy. He keep ask me whr am I? In korkor's rm or what. Den I was like. I DUN WAN GO BACK MY ROOM!!! DAMN AGNRY.. Alr cant hug him slp. Now worst! No baobao for me to hug. DULAN!!

Using iPhone to play fb. Baby called agn. Say he reach home le. Wanna go slp le n hang up e phone jst like tt. Woah~ For tt moment, I feel damn sad lah! >.< But he say he tired. So bo bian loh.. Let him go rest. But str8 aft he hang up e phone. I heard some1 opening e room's door. I was like. Bo Hiew~ Cux I tot korkor n saosao came back le. But I dun care. I wanna slp le. So rest in their room. I heard some1 climbing up e bed, I tot is saosao, wanna ask me go back my room to slp. But suddenly, I saw some1 super tall but I cant see clearly is who. Suddenly, this some1 gave me a kiss on e cheeks~ I was like WTF? Cant be korkor kiss me jst becux I bought him tt x'mas gift mah. So i jumped up. I saw this guy~ LOOK SO FKING FAMILIAR~ I stone for a few sec & realized its BABY!!! Hug him n sajiao with him. Hehhehehes~

Jst becux I dun sounds right n sad. He came all e way dwn to keep me accompany. So sweet right! My 1st surprise frm Baby, & its a super sweet de surprise lah! Whahahhaha~ Baby ask me go bathe, cux I haben remove my make up n evything. Bathe hao le. I use hair dryer to dry my hair. Baby tak bulek tahan me. Ask me sit down n he dry my hair for me. Hehhehehs~ Damn sweet lah! Went back to my room n slp with Baby~

27th Dec`09
Woke Baby up, ask him get himself prepared for his work. & send him to Tmall to take train. I miss Baby's smell~ >.< Went Ksuite with Edward, Sheena, Gwen, Jasper n gangs~ Had our gift exchange! Sing, Sang n Sung~ Went home n msg Baby den... KO-ed. While Gwen n Jasper play Mj with Edward n Sheena. LOL! Oh, Eddy got promote to Captain alr~ LOL.. Congrats!

Its 04:24am now. Baby gonna scold me le. So late still haben slp! Got to go~

e BEST festival I had this year is X'MAS!!! Heheheheh~

24th Dec`09~ ♥ Jess & Sky ♥

2009-12-23T02:30:00.003+08:00

Hello dudes, Im back to update! Sigh~

1st of all, let welcome my SEXY VOICE!!! Alright, im sick! Down with Flu & sore throat. Jst a quick review of my recent activities~

I jst got my iPhone last friday, everything seems great? I hope so!! *Pray Hard* I Q for like 4 hours jst to get tt *wonderful* phone! KNS!! Been doing pre-event for e past 2 weeks. DnD pre-event for 3angles & also MobileStudio. Wakakakas.. Printed lots & lots of my photos~ Its Free... Why not? LOL

Got my 1st x`mas gift for this year. Heheheh~ Something from Ralph Lauren! Thks Korkor!!

Anw, Im flying to BKK next week!!! OMG!! Tt's damn fast lah! 1st Jan~

Sigh!

Dec`22

Happy 23rd Month-ni-ver-sary to myself~

2009-12-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

我输了~ 心魔，战胜了我！

我被彻底的击败了！F3/4

HIM/YOU/X-xs ♥ updated~ >.<

2009-12-04T22:58:00.001+08:00

Nothing to do at work, so went tw.yahoo.com to check on my mails. Suddenly have e urge to key in xia0qigui & search, jst curious wat will come out in e end.

To my surprise, I saw this link~ its OMY.com.. .... Lazy to copy & paste e link here. This fellow, commented on my xia0qigui's blog in omy website. Din expect my name to be appeared in tt website anyway.

Since I already requested OMY staff to del all votes on me during the competition for Best Blog. Cux some(S) people went to vote like 7-800 votes for me in a night! Horrible!! LOLS~ Was feeling damn paiseh lah! Lucky I change e blog address le~ Only me & .. ... knws e new url.

Use my omnia & went to read all my previous post! Was damn shock!!! I used to be a very cheerful + happy go lucky girl. Though most of my "recent" posts are blog in a very sacastic & angry way. But way before all those quarrels we had, be it 大哥 or 小哥. Or even with HIM~ I used to be so happily in love~ I used to smile everyday~

But now, even though im smiling to evy1 of you evy single day, I jst dunno why. I jst couldnt find e feelings back. Happiness is no longer with me. I can no longer feel e happy go lucky girl living inside me. Things changes on my bday last year~ Or rather, months before tt. Or even after March, when everything happened at e same time~ F4

Where's e happy girl? Any1 seen her recently? Is she doing good? I doubt so~
I realized, I no longer have e courage.. ...

I wanna be happy, but it seems so hard! When my whole heart is filled with .. ...

ugnissimmi

=) - who understands the meaning of this smiley face?

过去甜蜜的笑容
它是否依然存在
（这是我写的歌里，最后的一句话。我的笑容，它是否依然存在~）

2009-12-03T00:14:00.001+08:00

你我的距离越来越远~

希望你一切都好！！！

记得要加油~

2009-11-30T02:29:00.004+08:00

Finally, Belle is back ! ! ! But she's injured!!! >.<

I seriously dunno how long she went missing. I only realized tt she's not in my room when Im back from Prime Mart.

After watching my show in utube, I went 7-11 to grab some drinks for myself & also to slack outside alone for awhile. I need some fresh air~ When im back, ahFat called. Say korkor wan some cereal. So went home and headed to 7-11 agn. E 7-11 nearby my huse dun seems to sell cereal, so I went to Prime Mart alone. [i LIKE, cux I can slack outside ALONE for a longer time.] & when im back home, mommy ask me to go check Zen's temperature as he's not feeling well. Went Edward's room to wash e thermometer, and go check on Zen's temperature.

Back to my room, realized Belle isnt inside e room. & I dun rmb seeing her in Edward's room, living room & ahGong's room. Ask Roy went over to his room to double check is Belle in his room. That's when we found out Belle went missing! _|_

All of us went out to look for her, & I went to make police report. _|_ This is no joke! We had 2-3 bicycles riding ard our area to look for her. 1 car - YRV, and at least 2 ppl searching for her.

Called Fen, wj ans-ed. She's in her lala land alr. Kup e phone with wj without telling him what happen. I really dunno what to do as the police did told me some1 actually made a police report saying some1 saw a white dog and is injured. Sigh~ Msg-ed Fen. Really need some help. & she called back. Wanted to ask her to help me look for Belle ard her area, but listen to her voice, she sound so tired. & i gave up e idea. As e police also said tt Belle was last seen ard our area. Hang up e phone with Fen & she send me a msg to sayang me.

Soon after receiving her msg, police called. We found ur dog!!! Thanks god!!! GuanYinMa & whoever it is~ Phew.. ...

Rushed to e police station. AhFat n gangs are all there already~ Belle look so scared! Gave her treats and e police requested for my particulars. So I also din have time to check on Belle's injury. Since e guys are all there to check on her~ After tt Belle took YRV home while I cycle back. As Roy, tt cb!!! Jst leave his bicycle outside e police station n went off with ahFat. _|_

Sigh~ What a happening night!!! >.<

That's all for Belle's story~

& now, here's mine!!!

I dunno why, I jst need some time alone. But its impossible to have some time alone at home!! Hmmm, okay, there's still some time alone at home! Not impossible. When im showering, tt's e only time alone loh! =.=''

The feeling jst sucks! & I dunno how to express it!
我的不开心能跟谁说？可是，每当朋友问起，我却说不上来！
有些事，我还是不能敞开心胸的和他们说。
就连最要好的朋友，我也说不出口！！！

2009-11-24T00:26:00.003+08:00

Im feeling damn "fk-up" now. I dunno how to describe this feelings. But I jst dun feel good. Im not happy.. AT ALL ! ! ! Sigh~ >.<

Maybe period coming? I dunno. This has been bothering me for weeks~ This feeling sux!!! I hate it, but cant help thinking abt it~ There's too much things I wanna say, I wanna voice out. But I can only say it out, 1 by 1. Sigh~

When your love ones dun even realize tt something has been bothering you. What can you do? Even when they ask, will you tell them what happen to you? My ans is NO! So save ur trouble.

When it comes to family, these problems always made me speechless. & all these things always causes me to quarrel with my mum without fail. There's times I really feel so useless at home.

When it comes to love, i choose to keep quiet. Cux no matter how, what inside my head now, is something IMPOSSIBLE. [X-xs] [東城衛]

2009-11-23T21:59:00.001+08:00

我的不开心，到底有谁会知道？

2009-11-12T23:06:00.003+08:00

Listening to 不能不想她；最温柔的悬念；舍不得放手！now, By Danson~ 唐禹哲 ~

E mre I listen to these songs~ E mre I wanna CRY!!! >.<

Sigh~ f3/4

ps : 岑经岑经，有人送我这首歌，《不能不想她》，如今，这《些》首歌却让我好想哭~

2009-11-11T23:48:00.002+08:00

e sharp pain is back!!! frm ur heart, to ur hand den lastly, ur fingers~ _|_

its hard to describe e pain.. its like electrical shock! its e same pain i encounter 1 month ago~ Yet to visit e doc for my blood & dunno wat test. Im so afraid of needles tt I dun think im gg for e test. Sigh~

2009-11-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

What's happening to me? Nose bleeding in progress AGAIN!!! 2 times in a day liao~ Kan Shag!!! Nnb~ >.<

2009-11-08T13:58:00.002+08:00

我。。。。。还是很不开心~

我心里想的是谁，对你很在重要吗？

不够睡~ 唉！！！很累~

有好想发脾气！！！

啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2009-11-08T01:08:00.003+08:00

IM NOT HAPPY AT ALL AFTER READING MY TAGBOX!!! >.<

2009-11-06T03:13:00.001+08:00

Nose bleeding in progress~ Im feeling so sick now!!! E feel of wanna vomit, SUX!!! _|_

2009-11-05T18:16:00.002+08:00

This post is specially dedicated to Ms Ng XiaoFen!

Im really blogging in office now. Its a 100% chop kena black listed move. As you ppl are aware tt we cant access to blogger or blogspot in my office. But now, they unban everything now. Jst to capture your name into system and issue you warning letter once you go into those websites. But limbus bo hiew~ Cux this is a very urgent post tt needs to be posted up NOW!!! Look at e timing now! its only 6.20pm!!! Im really blogging in e office!!! I dun really care abt tt stupid warning letter anymore~

HOLY SHYT!!! I realized I forgot to thank some1 super duper important on my previous post! WTF? I rmb I wrote short msg to her in tt post. Cux im blogging in office. How can I forget her?

MS NG XIAO FEN aka MY SEXSLAVE

Im so so sorry to forget to thank you on my bday post. I rmb I did wrote msg to you! Really! >.< Sis, really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. When im feeling dwn, you will rush dwn to my huse or meet me at Mac to cheer me up. No matter hw late it is. (Im so so SORRY!) When I quarreled with my family, you will always be e 1st to sayang me. Even if you’re with Wj, you’ll still come find me during weekends~ Jst to keep me accompany~ Really really thks a lot!

Thanks for planning e bday surprise for me. I really like e Mickey very very much! Been hugging it to sleep every night~ I really din expect to see e girls at my “doorstep”. LOL! & thanks for rushing all e way dwn to ION jst to buy me my fav ROYCE chocolate to cheer me up. ^^v~

We aren’t tt close with each other last time. Or shld I say, Hi, Bye frenx? But now, we’re so close with each other tt, I also cant believe it. Its hard to tell you hw close we are now. But e feeling is jst so.. … Amazing~ We share e same frequency most all e time, we catch each other joke easily. We enjoy playing MJ with each other. I wont say we share all our secrets with each other. But e feeling is, we’ll tell each other our problems. We’ll share e problem with each other most of e time.

We always have e same frequency. Be it jokes or when we encounter some problems. Or even when we happens to read something or work tgt, or dislike some asshole~ LOL!

We share e same BAD HABIT too~ >.< hiakhiakhiak~

Some of you may say, aiyah, if I were you, I sure dui xim gua, why we dun get to knw each other better earlier. I wont say tt. I thanks god for giving me such a wonderful frenx at this timing. We cant go back to e past. So we will cherish time n memories with each other frm now on. Rmb, we still got to go Vivo to shop 10 years ltr? Hahahahs~ Tt’s our deal~

Sis, congrats to you on passing your TP~ Can send me go take my FTT liao~ I dun mind lend you “my” car~ LOL!!! I will ask ahFat pass me e key! LOL! Den we can go hacvor tgt~ Hehehehs

Shyt me, how can I forget to thank her for what she had done for me. Im such a failure sis~ >.< Im feeling so guilty.

Sexslave, will you forgive me?

2009-10-29T21:57:00.005+08:00

1st of all, thank you guys for all e wonderful surprises, presents & bday wishes. Though no matter how many times I told you guys i wan no celebration this year & keep telling my girls no hanky panky surprises frm you ppl. End up, you girls still gave me a wonderful night~ Really appreciate it alot. Thanks Fen for planning e surprises for me. Not forgetting e Mickey & my all time fav, ROYCE CHOCOLATE. (im sure im gonna go eat e chocolate to cheer myself up tonight.) Thanks Baobei for coming all e way dwn aft work. You mst be dead tired! & e Mickey!!! ^^v Thanks honey for coming & e perfume. Gd luck for your exams ltr on~ Thanks Min`er for e perfume & msg-ed with me e whole monday morning to cheer me up. Thanks girls for always be there for me whenever I needed you girls e most.

Sometimes, I would curse & swear to e god why mst he "torture" me in some sort of ways. Why should I go thru things whereby others will not go thru? Why is he taking lives away frm my love ones. Esp those who care & love me e most. Now, I thank god tt he gave me you ppl. Be it family or friends. Im so so fortunate to have you ppl in my life. I dun think I should be complaining hw bad my life has been. LOL~ Day by day, I understand tt all humans will leave e world some day. Its jst e matter of time & hw it happens. I used to believe tt when you gain something, you'll lost something in return eventually. Tt's how e world balance. But now, im gonna prove you wrong! I once did this~ I choose to gave up my friends when it comes to love. Cux of e stupid logic. Now, I have my friends back & im "happily" enjoying my 1-sided love for some *winkwinks* LOL~ I din lost anything at all. Im happy n contented with what im having now~ E gain/lost logic always happens in life, but tt doesnt means it happens all e time!

Anw, im blogging in e backward/rewind way. LOL~

26th Oct `09

Took half day leave, wanted to go shopping alone. But too bad. No money to shop. So gave up e idea & went home. Slept for e whole day~ woke up ard 7pm plus? Watch tv & play bejewel. Was waiting for them to buy food back for me. But none of them did so~ ROAR!! All bo xim. Opps~ LOL! Wanted to call saosao to dabao back for me, cux she went out to have dinner with gwen & "gangs". LOL~ But too late, she came back home mins ltr aft i finish showering. So hungry. Gwen came over as Jasper went chalet. Girls, always not interested in those guys topic esp when guys "gossip" among themselves. & guys always neglect their gf when they are too engrossed in their gossiping convo. ROAR~ *Attention to ALL GUYs, pls go do some self reflection* LOL~ Shenna jio-ed for MJ~ Lalalalas~ Play with Sheena, Gwen & AhFat(Jon). Whahahhahas~ Fen called ard 11.57pm. Said wanna be e 1st to wish me happy bday on my actual day. So we chatted on phone for awhile. & when im paying full attention to my mj game, suddenly she shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESS". I was like huh? Oh, my bday liao huh. Oh thank you~ She seems so excited & high abt my bday. I dunno why~ LOL! Min was e 1st to msg me Happy bday. Hehehhes, followed by baobei, who gave me e most bday wishes! LOL~ Suddenly some1 frm behind started singing Happy bday to u~ When I look back, I was like wtf? Eh, not funny loh!! Surprises frm my family~ Hehehehhes! So xingfu right? Hahhhahas. (its my 2nd bday surprises alr) Can you imagine your whole family singing bday song for you? & i mean ALL! LOL~ Thank you so much for e surprises~ I made a wish tt night~ & it really comes true! I wish tt ahgong could discharge frm hospital asap & get well soon. Aft I made e wish, and when I was abt to cut e cake, Melvin stopped me frm doing so. He says tt I can only cut e cake 1/2. Cannot cut "all", arbo my wish will not come true. Den I oh~ Cut it e way he wan it to be. LOL. True enough, Ahgong got discharge e next day. Hehehehhes~ Zen & Jon forced me to do tt stupid stunt. & I got my nose n face with all creams. Nabus~ we started playing cream war! LOL. & I cried for 3secs~ Hahahhahas!! Aft eating e bday cake, we continued with our MJ session. Hahahhas. I won S$5!!! Wakakkakakas~ E only winner~ LOL!

Edward din manage to make it for my surprise bday celebration. Cux he was busy with his work stuffs. You cant probably to ask him come home celebrate bday with me when his boss is still in workshop working right? LOL!! He sent me a sms before Gwen came over. & tt msg made me cry. >.< Its only a simple msg, yet I felt e love I thought I once lost it. When my ahma was gone, when dad left & when 3shu papa died~ Tt simple lil msg made me feel so warm tt I knw I still have this Big Brother by my side no matter what happen. Cry baby right? Hahhhas~

Aft replying e msg, I went over to kor's room. 1st thing Gwen saw me, she asked, eh, u jst finish bathing or jst finish crying? I was like.. ... Huh? Oh, bathing! LOL~

Thanks saosao & Gwen for rushing all e way dwn to Compass pt to buy me tt small lil bday cake. Hahahhash~

Thanks Korkor & saosao for e bag~ I love it so much!!!! Wahahhahhas~

25th Oct `09

Woke up ard 10plus am? Went over to Bedok interchange wet market for bfast. But my fav Kuay Chap "nvr open". WTF? Rest on Sunday? KNS~ Change-d venue to Sempang Bedok for Yong TauFoo. Yummy Yummy. Simply jst love e ladies finger there. Woowhoo~ After our brunch, we dabao food for ahgong, so went hospital to look for him. Aft tt, all went home~ Hehehehhes! Its time for me to slp agn~ As I only slept for less den 4hours tt night. >.< Gonna be panda soon~ Edward woke me up ask me get prepare n go out for dinner. We went Geylang Lor27A for You Tian Da Wang. We ordered Mee sua, Rou yuan, Carrot cake & xiaolongbao.& of course, Soya bean milk~ Seriously, only e carrot cake & meesua are edible, pls do not try e rest. You'll sure regret for life~ If you have ever tried e rou yuan frm tw. Then, you better dun even take a look at it. E taste jst simply sux. Not nice~ But still, I finished up e whole rou yuan. Cux its Pork! LOL~ E xiaolongbao taste even worst. Dry dry hard hard de. Machiam stone like tt. Roar! Korkor wanted to eat something else, so we headed over to~ Dunno whr. I only knw we ate Pig's organ soup! My FAV agn~ Yummy Yummy~ Hehehehehs! After dinner, its time for shopping. Went Mustafa to shop shop awhile. Saw my Puma & Adidas watch. But too bad, all guys design. My hand too small liao~ All those nice watches are too big for me to wear. Nabus~ Before gg home, went nearby to buy ka tou jian for mummy~ One of my Fav agn! OMFG~ its damn nice lah~

24th Oct `09

Steven Junior msg-ed me. Ask whether wanna join him for movie den go club. Couldn't make it for dinner as at hospital visiting ahgong & still gonna shop ard for black pants with Shenna for korkor. Went home to get ourselves prepared. Sheena got to attend Edmund's wedding dinner. As I got to rush to Bugis for dinner with SJR n gangs. Initially, we're suppose to give Lydia a belated surprise bday party. End up.. ROAR!!!! Jierong came with a bday cake. & I was kindda ½ shock to e tt cake. I only expect some surprises frm Junior's n gangs. But din knw tt Jierong was involve. Louis was there too. He claims tt he jst happens to pop by. Cux all his frenx are at Rebel. Well, I was really shock when I saw him there. But den, who cares~ Cyrus msg-ed me & said he'll try to come dwn. As he still needs to study for his exams. Was thinking he wont be coming cux we change-d venue to Ratchada 1-2hours ltr. & he seriously needs to study for his exams. Hey, dun fail ur exams hor. I dun wanna be responsible for it. LOL~ JK!!! Before we left Lunar, we had e cake cutting ceremony. LOL~ After tt, we went to Ratchada~ Another surprise tt night was, I saw Cyrus there! @ Ratchada. LOL~ Jierong n Louis went outside to bring him in. He din say he's coming. So, I shall treat him as another surprise. Steven Junior went off early tt night. & we went for supper at Boon Tong Kee. >.< Jierong insisted of eating supper, so did Cyrus. Who keep asking me whr's his slice of bday cake. Told him he was late, n din inform me tt he's coming. So din dabao for him before we left Lunar. LOL~ Den he says, no bday cake har.. Nvm~ Eat supper with us loh! Jierong was like. Ya loh yah loh~ Sigh! Got to guai guai follow them go eat supper. BUT!!! I only drink a can of Green tea in e end. Hahahs! Really no appetite to eat. So I seated there to watch Shuyi, Jierong, Louis & Cyrus enjoying their supper. LOL! Felt very uneasy, esp when some1 said something like, aiyah, its fated lah! Regarding some certain things. But soon aft, im okay~ Cyrus sent both me & Shuyi home. Thks a lot. & really really, thank you guys for coming all e way dwn jst to surprise me n cheer me up. Was really touched when Jierong went to so many places to find bday cake for me. & when Cyrus throw his exam materials aside & come all e way dwn to celebrate my bday with me. Though we only knw each other not long. Or rather knw each other for 2 wks, & we only chatted with each other for only A NIGHT! LOL~ Thks Shuyi for planning everything for me. Thks Louis for e bday cake too. & Jierong, really really thank you for everything. To msg silver, though she cant make it. To msg Cyrus, n tt yummy bday cake! XieXie~ All e best this sat yea~ Will try my best to go dwn to support you!

***

Shouldnt have expected anything frm you. Cause in e end, e mre i expect, e mre disappointed I'll be. Anw, im used to this feelings. So yah, its jst another day of life.

To be continue.. ...

2009-10-27T16:12:00.002+08:00

你怎么了说?

看到更新了，你怎么了说?

但我似乎在期待些什么~

你是让我不想过生日的理由~1年前的今天，我们大吵了一架，感情也开始变化~

“祝我生日快乐”

2009-10-26T22:28:00.001+08:00

我不开心！我不想过生日~ 谁能来逗我开心？
我的生日，会收到你的简讯吗？
Not referring to Mr J >.<

Who can cheer me up?

Will You?

2009-10-24T03:38:00.003+08:00

23 October 2009

Happy Birthday to MeiLing~

Edward sent me n Mummy to Plaza Singapura this morning as she needs to attend a seminar nearby. And drop me off @ Bugis mrt. Reach-ed office, realized I forget to post my blogpost ytd night. Shyts! Anw, Edward prepared sandwiches for me ytd night for me to bring over to office to had my bfast! & Jon, sweet enough to buy me my fav bar chor mee frm Bedok 58 market as bfast too. But so sorry I din eat it as im rushing for work and Edward already prepare bfast for me. =)

Tt sandwich made me feel so god damn holy full lah! But its yummy~ Soft grain meal bread + ham + vege + cheese! Woots!!! Going to Ootoya for dinner ltr, xiaoyenleng's treat. As my bday treat? No idea.

Oh yah, feeling abit pek chek + malu now! My company's DnD is coming soon. Themes = ShangHaiTan! Nb, I dunno hw e fk e “director & script writer” plans it. There's WONDER GIRLS inside this performance. Worst, im being sabo as 1 of e wg! KNN!!! This year DnD performance, our department sure lose. LOL! Damn shag leh! Imagine im e support team members, helping them to find all sorts of music they wan. & im e only person finding for it. =.= Still ask me be wg. Feel like killing all of them here. Told them I do not have time for e rehearsal as im on leave on mon & tue. & e DnD performance will be on e coming sat aft my bday? If I din rmb wrongly. WTF?

Went jogging last night. Damn tired. Dunno wat happen to me. Jog/run for e 1st 3 rds alr feeling damn breathless and weak. Targeted to run 9 rds ytd night. But couldn't make it. So I only run/jog for 7 rds. And walk 3 rds. Damn tired. Went to rest awhile & accompanied Edward go 7-11 buy bread. When im back home, Jon was showing me tt evil smile as if he did something cruel to my lover (baobao). Confronted him, he said he break my bejewel record by 5K. Total score 149, 150 Damn dulan! Jitao go chiong my bejewel. Buay gek yan let him win me. While playing he keep kpkb, say aiyah.. .. slowly break my record hor~ CB!!! Dulan, used baobei's name. Ask him challenge baobei's score. Around 433,000K! Nabus~ But soon after tt, in less den 30mins? I broke his record liao~ Hehehehs! Den happily went to bed. Mai siao siao~ I may be nt be as pro as baobei, but im not as noob as u think! _|_ LOL

Stupid fen, when are u gg to meet me & sayang me? You this sex slave took annual leave for how many fking days alr??? Still buay ji tong come sayang me huh! LOL!!!

22 October 2009

Exercise, exercise & exercise~ This is what im doing for e past few days. Sooner or ltr, I think im gonna be a zoombie soon. LOL! Everyday after work, 1st thing to do is to chiong home. Reached home, change-d into short and tshirt, den sleep! Or maybe facebook for not mre den 30mins, have my "dinner" and den off to bed. I seriouly need mre time to sleep. But, very difficult! >.< Every night while waiting for Edward to reach home, I'll try to get some sleep for like 2-3hours? When Edward is back, den got to get myself prepared to go for e run/exercise. After e exercise, reach home, cfm got to bathe. & tt's e best part. Cux no matter how tired I am, once shower, I'll be so awake tt I cant sleep anymre. Got to wait till ard 3am? Den im able to sleep. Pathetic hor? Bo bian, who ask me wan jian fei & healthy lifestyle. I wan look pretty pretty. I dun wanna spend my money on those slimming programme. Nabus~

Ah gong was hospitalize this morning. Still not sure abt what happen. But e doc says shouldnt be any problem. But jst in case, is better for him to be warded and go for check ups. I only knw tt ahgong was not feeling well yesterday night. After he came back frm airport. But he's not having fever. Only say tt he's feeling breathless. But refused to see doc. This morning, before I went to work, realize tt he din went market. Still not feeling well. Went over his room to check on him. He says he's feeling better but still abit breathless. And ask me go work and remind me not to be late for work.

Edward sent me to Enous mrt station to take train. Bought bread for mummy for bfast. While I continue to drink my Apple juice every morning. & whenever im feeling hungry, i'll go grab some biscuits to eat. Work half way, phone rings. Pick up e call and heard this familiar voice. Its tt irritating insurance agent agn. _|_ So I kept quiet till he kup my phone. Dun wanna let tt irritating idiot spoil my day, so went to switch my phone to silent mode. Edward called ard 11am? Miss-ed call. Called him back & I was told ahgong hospitalize. Shocked! My mind went blank for tt particular moment. Den Edward told me tt ahgong is fine. Jst need to be warded for some further check ups. Phew~ Please help me to pray hard tt he will get well soon.

Was damn angry yesterday night tt i nearly dun wanna talk to him. I went over to his room to check on him, and asked him is he feeling any better? His reply to me was, still not feeling gd. Aiyah, nvm lah. Ahgong also going off soon de lah. No need bring me go see doc. Ahgong old already, wan go find ahma they all liao. KNN. Hear liao jiu damn HOT! This morning he told me e same thing agn, keep repeating ask me dun be late for work. Ask did I went to work for e past few days when he's not at home. I mst be a gd girl. Blah Blah Blah. NB!! Buay tahan him, smack him on his backside! Den he look at me, eyes wide open. I said : Dont talk these kind of nonsense to me. Den he gave me a smile, and chase me go work agn.

Today whole morning was damn busy at work. Im feeling so shag. Lunch time went for my nap. But still, not enough sleep for me. Next monday on half day (PM) leave. I swear im gonna sleep e whole day. I need lots n lots of rest. Feeling quite irritated this morning too. Cux mre den 3 ppl keep asking me how am I going to celebrate my bday. Told them not celebrating, will be sleeping at "home" (dun try to be funny, i wont be at home. Will go uncle huse to stay) and yet no1 believes. Nah! ~.~

Last but not least, Happy Birthday to Meiting~ Stay pretty always! =) & also, Happy Birthday to WeeHan's twins (Boy & Girl) 1 years old le!! Woowhoo~

2009-10-21T01:01:00.001+08:00

Was damn dulan jst now! Simply becux my Keyaki treat was being cancelled. Nabus~ Due to Keyaki restuarant now under renovation. So cant eat. Fk!!! You knw how much I wanted to eat Keyaki? Once in a year leh! But.. ... I swear im gg back there to eat next month when they re-open. F5! I dun care~ Min'er, so sorry got to postpone e lunch le. No Keyaki this saturday, meaning im free on sat! Woowhoo~ Another day for me to rest at home. Sleep like a PIG!!! oiinkoiink~

Xiaoyenleng jst called me to say dinner on friday. Japanese restuarant! Ootoya Asia Pacific. Our client's restuarant. Xiaoyenleng is their Auditor & I am e one who file their XBRL accts with ACRA systems. >.< But, this jap restuarant only serve bento sets. Meaning, ALL RICE!!! =.= Should I go or should i not? If I go, all my efforts will gone to waste. Been cutting dwn on rice recently. Cux not in e mood to eat rice. To think of everyday reach home, e maid would prepare e same old fking dishes for u.. WITHOUT FAIL!!! Steam fish, fried eggs & vege with prawns. This is wat you eat everyday. _|_ & its god damn fking.. NOT NICE! Sometimes I rather dine out even if im so broke tt I dun have much money to spend. >.<

Today went lunch with Baobei & fen @ Orchard Central @ Gelare. Saw baobei's colleagues there too. =) Had my Chef salad while baobei & fen had their Carbonara. Fen requested for mre garlic n chilli. Went back our seats after ordering e food. I din knw tt Gelare dun serve ice water~ =.= Talk cork while waiting for our food. Tt waiter serve my salad n baobei's "normal" carbonara & we started eating our food without waiting for fen's food to arrive. Cux we thought her food will be served soon. Who knws.. .. LOL! Waited for her food for mre den 10mins, another waitress came n told her they dun have chilli! LOL~ End up, some1 got to swallow dwn e without chilli n extra carbonara. LOL!!

After lunch, fen follow me back to my office as she dun have anything to do. But cant go home. Cux she got to work ard 4pm @ plaza Sin. After fen left, suddenly i felt so tired tt i actually nearly fall asleep during work! NB!!! E worst is, I din even realize tt my director was sitting beside me when i nearly fall asleep. WTF!!! Gonna die sooner or later. Sigh! F4

Got to go for my Night exercise agn tonight. & I miss my Gelare's waffle!!! I wanna eat!!! But we girls are too full jst now to even order a waffle to share! Haix.. Baobei, next Tue? Gelare's waffle? LOL~ OoPps!! NoNonono.. Next Tuesday is limbus de bday. Gonna spend my day at somewhr quiet to shake leg & relax. Not gonna stay at home! Hehehhes. Btw, my mom jst tell me tt if next tue im not celebrating my bday with my friends, she'll cook dinner for me. Cux she got medical appointment tt afternoon. So can go home early. WTF? my bday eat at home? But, nvm. Not planning to celebrate anw. So, dun eat = best! Told her see 1st lah. Most likely is dun wanna eat. Aiyah, dunno lah! Bday = troublesome!!! CCB!!! Whenever it comes to my bday, I'll feel so stress & fustrated! Evy year without fail~ KNN

2009-10-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm, i actually blog alot last friday. But end up, i din post it up nor i save it in e draft. Jst simply del it away! & tt’s a fking long long post leh! >.< Here I am now blogging in e office, but cant post it up. Due to some fk-up reason. My company actually bans almost all website. Including blogger, blogspot, ebay, facebook & worst dictionary.com! Now, they un-ban all websites. Meaning, if you Google, and accidentally click on e link which will link u to any of e website above, ahahahahha~ G-G You're gonna be blacklisted by e company & even kena warning letter. They are all digging e hole waiting for u to fall into their trap. Damn CB right? If you dun wan ppl to serve those websites, kindly jst block everything. Stop doing so childish stuffs! Btw, I dun even knw why they wanna block e website dictionary.com! Cux my colleagues have been complaining to me abt this. =.=

Feeling damn tired these 2 days! Been joining Edward for his Night exercise since saturday night. Damn shag! Whole body aching now. Too long nvr exercise liao. He gave me an option. If you dun wanna run, you can always ride e bicycle. Good right? But too bad, limbus dun knw how to ride a bycicle! Nb!!! Okay lah, i knw how to ride, but i can only ride on straight roads. & I mean Roads! not those small squeezy bycicle track. Nononono.. ... I cant balance well. Sigh! So I got to run. If you ever knw me well. Im those kind who hates to run!!! Mrs Sheena Xu mst be laughing non stop now!!! ROAR!!! F5

Happy Birthday, Joan Tan Xiu Xiu~!~!~ (in advance) Hehehehehs~
Yesterday went Baobei huse for steamboat. An advance birthday celebration for her. God damn holy shyt! Tt stupid Wilson, dun even knw how to tell lies/keep secret! LOL~ Anw, I enjoyed myself alot ytd night. Having great times with my bytches~ I need mre of these gathering. But, please ppl! Stop forcing me to eat. Hhahahas. Gonna meet Boabei for lunch tml afternoon during our lunch hour. Fen will be joining us too. Yet to decide what to eat. But Im craving for Gelare's salad/waffle! Opps~ Waffle is fattening! Hmm, mst change venue! Baobei & Fen, please think of some other places to eat >.<

Shall continue to blog ltr, need to work liao. Sigh, its only 10am now! Work is so torturing to me now~

Im back here to continue my post. Woowhoo~ Boss approved my leave on 26th Oct (PM) & 27 Oct!!! Finally can have a gd gd rest. =D While working, was listening songs using my w980. There’s this song I find e lyrics super meaningful! & im having this feeling, if Wilson were to read e lyrics. For sure he’ll say nice1. LOL! Hahhhahas~

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

***Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

***

‘Cause I got over you.
I got over you.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

Woah, damn shag! Slept at ard 5am last night & woke up at 7.30am! Nubus! Hmm, feeling so excited now. Cux Saturday is coming~ Keyaki! Hehehehhes~ Anw, im not gonna organize anymre surprises. Damn tiring! LOL. & due to some nbcb fk-up reason. Some may knw why. My birthday is drawing damn near. & im not even excited. =.= Dun even plan to celebrate with my family members too. >.< Mummy said this year very xiong for her & Roy. So both of them got to celebrate bday. Meaning, this year not xiong for me. So I dun need to celebrate. LOL!!! I jst need a gd rest! A shopping spree for myself. But! Fat hope. Cux im only getting my pay on e 28th of every mth. & my bday falls on e 27th. There goes my shopping plan. Guys, no surprise frm you ppl. Every year when I celebrate my bday, I’ll either quarrel with my bytches or boyfriend. >.< 2 years ago, I sort of quarreled with Angel. Cux she thinks tt I dun really appreciate e surprise she & min`er prepared for me. Which is a Ben & Jerry ice cream + brownie. Sigh, during tt time, only min`er, baobei & some of e girls there knw abt my story. & I jst recovered frm my depression. >.< Only they knw how torture it is to me to swallow dwn tt Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. But still, I manage to eat ¼ of e ice cream + brownie. I really appreciate it a lot. >.< But Angel claims tt I dun look surprise at all. >.< Baobei, came with Liyan super duper late! & claims tt their late arrival was meant to be a surprise for me too. But too bad, no surprises frm them. But tears! I cried badly tt night! Nabus~ LOL!!! & all of my friends claims tt ima bad girl. For not accepting Albert, yet I still accept his “diamond” necklace! KNN!!!

Last year, days without my bytches. So I happily thought tt history wont happened agn. Who knws, I quarreled with my boyfriend! Kena “fk-ed” by him on my bday. All I got frm him tt day was, scolding, scolding & scolding + attitude. Last but not least, a bday wishes frm him. F3/4 Pathetic huh?

Now you knw e reasons why I refuse to celebrate my bday this year? When all e bytches are back tgt, & my relationship status now is still so-called “attached.” Cux none of us said e word brk up. You ppl mst be thinking there’s something call silence brk. But, I dun like tt. Imagine e 1 you love suddenly gone mia & u’re waiting for him/her stupidly. Suddenly when he/she is back, he/she told you tt he/she treated ur relationship as silence brk? Tt’s very bad! So, nononono~

Went to visit e doc last wed. Not very gd news. >.< E stupid doc sounds so serious tt im actually quite afraid of what he told me. Cux he looks & sounds fking serious abt it. ~.~ Doc advise me not to stress myself too much. Mst relax~

Ohh yeah~ It’s 17:30 now~ Woohoo! Can go back rest liao. Hmmm, but before tt, mst go shop present for baobei 1st. Tt stupid arcade refused to sell me tt Tiger.

Tml 吃什么好呢？Girls, we meeting 12:30pm @ somerset MRT station. Dun be late. As we still need to rush back to work! LOL~ Ppl with camera, pls bring ur camera along! Hhaahahas~

2009-10-14T22:02:00.001+08:00

我在無名更新了！

2009-10-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

Be Good All The Times~ TAKE CARE!!!

2009-10-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

WTF? She's not even pretty at all!!! =.=

2009-10-04T04:44:00.005+08:00

Dunno why i wanna blog how I feel so much after reading something else in some places~ Maybe afew of you should knw what im talking abt after finish reading my post!

Few mins ago, I read something. Every time i read, every time i exit that particular page in a sibeh DULAN mood! Why? Shall not mention here! Since this is my blog, I should ALSO dun care abt how others feel & blog it out! As if I care you're reading~ Nah~ Jesslyn, a girl who dun give a damn to ppl she is unhappy with~ Who is famous for *YOU THINK SHE CARE?* attitude~

I swear, i've given superb much tolerance to this particular person! SHALL NOT NAME HE/SHE OUT!!! Opps~ How should i blog this out in a very nice way leh? LOL!!! Some things, I'll forgive & forget. Some, I'll remember & NVR forget!

I seriously dun care how many fucking years we've known each other. Since you can say those hurtful things to me without even considering abt my feelings, & now, why should I be bothered with your feelings? You hurt me not once, not twice but TRICE!!! PCB! Totally cant tolerate who you are NOW!!! _|_ Stop saying how nbcb pro you are~ When you fucking pissed ppl off for some fucking reasons! How PRO you are to actually made me SWEAR that I'll nvr entertain you with that cb game anymre! Thumbs up for you! Or rather, you wan limbus to salute you?

Im not a cb who looks dwn on my friend. But at e rate you are behaving now. Please, go temple pray mre often to obtain that fucking *god-knws-drop-from-whr* luck to bo bi you in whatever shyts you are doing now or rather in e future. By making yourself mre & mre PRO each day, you also better make sure your fucking salary in e future also as PRO as your skills now loh~ It makes me wonder, how are you gonna survive in e future?

While typing this post, I keep asking myself this question, should I STOP edit this post? I keep type & del my words!! CCB! Not becux I knw you for fucking so many years, you think I will blog until so kang kor? KNN! Dun wan blog anymre, e mre I blog, e mre DULAN I am!!!

2009-10-02T19:00:00.004+08:00

Before I start my post, let me warn you 1st! This gonna be a damn fking long post!!!

Suddenly, im having the urge to blog this morning in e office. Okay, early in the morning, reach-ed office, switch on my desktop. 1st thing = check gmail! LOL!! As i sent my client some email via gmail~ So got to check if she replied my email. To my surprise, e 1st thing i saw in my gmail was email notification from facebook! Had a look at e msg, saw a familiar name.. JxxxxTxx! (Joan Tan, u better dun claim that JxxxxTxx is you!!!) LOL!! Anw, the client din reply to my email.

Usually, I'll be very happy/excited whenever I saw that name appears in my gmail. Becux it means that he tag/comment me in facebook! =) Apparently, for this time round, im neither happy nor excited! Im worried, im still feeling sad! Im worried that I might be reading something similar again! Im sad becux I want no mre quarrels! But mainly becux I still felt hurt even until today.. Whatever things you said that night in msn & hp msg-es! It affects me + hurts me alot!!! Even till now, after I have cool down, I still thinks that im not at fault at all. I dun think that im thinking too much! Bits by bits, lil by lil! Im giving you up. Its Hard!!! But im learning~ You nvr knw how much tears i've shed for you for e past 2 months! You nvr knw how hurtful your words are that night! You nvr realize you always hurt me unknowingly! You'll nvr understand why am I so particular about that "few words". To you, it may be jst a few words. To me, I saw e differences between me & her!!! F3/4

No matter how much I misses you, am trying very hard not to msg you! Or even tag you in facebook! When you're online in facebook, I'll go watch Tv. I'll stay away from my laptop! & when you're not in facebook, I'll be back to play my games! Whenever I see you online in msn, I'll force myself to shut down my laptop within 30mins & off to my bed!

Im trying my best to keep a distance away from you. Becux this is what you wan! This is what you mentioned in e conversation/quarrel we had in msn that night! This is what I understand from your words! Sigh!

To Be Continue.. ...

Im back to continue my post. Anw, Im super duper lazy to upload photos here~ So if you wanna see those pics I took during Super Import Night 2009, kindly visit my facebook & check it out! LOL~ Dun tell me you dunno my facebook link! If you are able to read this blog, meaning you should knw my facebook link too! =.=

1st October '09
Happy Birthday to Gwen! Jst got to knw her not long ago~ She's my dasao friend & now, she's my friend too.. LOL! A very friendly girl! & her birthday falls on e Children's Day! Meaning, forever, Gwen will be 长不大的大孩子! LOL! Jst kidding~ May all your dreams come true! =D

Shall not blog about work! Cux whole day was damn boring + busy! After work, rush-ed home! Waited for Jon to come back from 7-11 with Ahgong. We headed dwn to SengKang to pick Fen up! On e way to SK, TPE was having serious traffic jam. WTF? TPE also will jam de meh? Called Sheena to ask if she wanna eat anything from Compass~ Cux Tampines food I eat until super sian liao! She said she & korkor wants nth from there, so we ended e conversation. Few minutes ltr, Edward called said they'll be joining us for dinner at CP. "Shop" around, had our dinner at Yoshinoya~ While waiting for our food, Me & Fen went popular to look for some puzzle games book. But couldnt find e 1 i wanted. Went 7-11 with Fen to buy ciggs! She was walking so slow that I keep KP her! Also dunno how I started e conversation of buying ciggs kena check IC! Was mocking at her on e way to 7-11. I forget what she replied me & I actually answered back, lucky im not like you! Buy ciggs still kena check IC.. Xia suay~ Already 20 years old liao still kena check! Heng im not like you! I wont get check now~ Before I could finish my last sentence, i had this feeling! I mst swallow back my last sentence~ LOL! So, i swallow back my words! And went in 7-11 to buy ciggs for Fen. _|_ That cb manager check limbus de IC!! Nabus~ So I lan lan, got to show her my IC! CB Fen was laughing all e way back to Yoshinoya!

After dinner, sent Fen back to SK home to pack her stuffs~ As we're sending her back to Wj's place~ When she's packing her stuffs, heard her conversation with her Dad. Her Dad damn cute lah! LOL~ Imagine when you're talking to your Dad & he replied you in an ACT CUTE tone! ROFL~ Nth much happen after that. Oh Ya!!! Korkor requested me & Sheena to buy him a dunno what brand de watch! Which cost around 520,000 pounds? Even its in SGD! You think e both of us can afford? LOL! My korkor is also very cute at certain times~ LOL! Opps~ >.<

30 September '09
Belated Birthday Treat for my Mummy! Edward, Sheena, Jon, Roy, Ahgong & Mummy not forgetting me too! =D 7 of us ate S$180!! Themes for e night, Seafood! My pocket burnt 1 big big HOLE!!! >.< F3/4! LOL!! Nvm, once in a year! So long as everyone enjoyed, that's e most important thing. ^^

29 September '09
Fen bought MHK for me! Hehehehees~ Thanks Sis!!! ^^ Fen slack at my place for awhile & went back Wj house! That's all I could remember~

28 September '09
Early in e morning wake up already not feeling well! Was thinking maybe should be nvr rest early/well e last night! As I slept around 4am! Dont wanna elaborate why! (Anw, a million thanks to Fen! Thanks for "running" all e way down to Mac to cheer me up! & to lend me your shoulders to cry~ LOL! But e moment i see you, I jitao cannot cry anymre! Whole night no mre tears!! LOL~)

Reached office, stone awhile! Do my work! Suddenly felt a sharp pain in e chest! Its hard to describe e pain! Feels like kena electrical shock! & soon after e sharp pain, e pain would spread to my left hand! This time round, its e veins that hurts! The pain would last around 10sec each time! & that's not e end of my torture! My left hand would feels numb & weak after that! Something like your hand was paralyze? The feeling simply jst SUX! Got to visit e doc soon if the pain still persist! >.<

Suppose to bring Mummy go Amara Hotel for International Buffet! Jio xiaoYenLeng & Ros along~ End up, that gentleman insisted of settling e bills! So had to find some other day to treat Mummy liao. F3/4 I dunno isit becux of my health or is e food there really drop standard! I nearly vomited after my lunch! When i only ate so lil things~ >.< After work, met Fen at Tmall for mooncake shopping & Fish n Co~ Was craving for that weeks ago~ Shall not mentioned Goodwood Park mooncake here anymre! DULAN~ Dunno for what fucking cb reason, spend so much money on that fucking nice mooncake yet still wanna give it to some bloody idiots who dunno how to appreciate things at all! WASTE MY EFFORT bringing e mooncake back! CCB!!!

KEYAKI~ Im coming soon~ Min-er~ Tempted huh??? LOL

*Im planning for something as my bday present from myself to me this year* LOL

2009-09-27T22:01:00.003+08:00

Dont u knw tt u hurt me unknowingly? I seriously dunno what to say & I jst couldnt find e right words to explain! Here, u told me u wont hurt me. There, u replied ur status without considering my feelings!

I tried my very best not to quarrel with u. I even said things like: "jst treat tt i dun wanna watch movie with u bah." Hey boy, do u knw tt am trying my very best to make u feel better? I really dun think tt u care abt hw i feel! & what for getting jealous if some other guys likes me? Your words, ur actions are 2 different things!!! How many times mst u hurt me like this?

When u're so sweet for tt particular night. The next moment, everything changes! Fine, maybe im jealous! & yeah, i admit im jealous~ Not becux of her, but ur fking reply to her! Let's compare e difference between ur reply to mine & her's! Dont you ever knw tt i'll be notified if you replied? You made me speechless tonight!

I msg-ed u early in e morning 5am. Jst to tell u, let's cancel off e movie tonight! Have u ever thought tt when i msg-ed u tt msg. Everything changes? I dun wanna quarrel with u, tt's why i choose to shut e fk up! When can u stop taking me for granted? To think tt i'll always be there for u? When im no1 to u? Im not ur gf, im not ur best/good friend! Why should i always be there for u? WHY?

It's ur reply tt makes me felt so hurt!

e gap, e distance & e differences~ they are still there! am not trying to be sensitive, but.. look at ur reply~ it breaks my heart f3/4

I choose to blog this out, is becux i knew u wouldnt come here to read! Even if u really did~ You'll nvr tag! So i'll jst treat tt u had nvr been to here before~

& ohs, do u knw tt this silly actually cried when u jst go offline like this?

Anyway guys, Im feeling better now~ At least, im smiling now!! All thanks to Min's Royce Chocolate!

i'll upload photos of my royce choco soon~ more pic coming up! so stay tune! =)

Quote of e Day~
e Magic of Royce! ♥

2009-09-17T17:44:00.002+08:00

i had a great fall frm the stairs this morning!!! & my knees are fking injured now!! Imagine my knees with those wounds and I've got to wear jeans to work tomorrow's Super Import Night 2009!!! _|_ BEST! >.<

2009-09-06T20:47:00.004+08:00

Hi there, im back to update. But before i update, my i change-d my blogskin! If you realize! AND its so damn fking obvious right! If you din realize, u can simply jst go bang e wall now!!!

Seriously, i think there's something wrong with my memory. I kept forgetting things happen recently. All i can remember is what happened within these few days~

Some1 went MIA again & i no longer wanna care. Since he dun wanna care abt his health or whatever it is, why should i be bothered?

Okay, he finally admit that he is jealous after seeing all those pics i took at dbl o~ But he felt guilty too! Why? Dont ask me. But to be frank with you guys, those photos i took at dbl o are purposely taken in tt way! Cux my main motive is to test will he get jealous if he see those pics. If YOU!!! yes YOU!!! got the chance to read this post, i really hope you can grant me 1 wish! a very simple wish~ Could you let me have some Sense Of Security! Jst alil bit will do~

Anw, fen came to my house for Mj on Friday. & i won $5! LOL. Fen lost $15. Yesterday wj n fen came over to find me. Fen cook-ed cheng teng for ahgong n me! hehehehs~ Yummy!!! i want MORE~ Me, fen & wj went dwn to e muslim "pasar malam" to buy food! it's lunch + dinner time! After our meal, we play-ed mj again! I lost $40 & Zen korkor lost $10!!! i slept at ard 4am?

Woke up at 8am today? Got to go for prayers! Everything ends at ard 11am? reache-d home jitao TOH!!! Wj n fen came to find me ard 4pm plus n sent me home soon after we finish our standard routine!

Prepared salad for edward, zen n myself! & i cleared everything! i can become COW very soon liao. LOL! fen coming to find me soon! Got to accompany her to eat dinner ltr. >.<

Got to go~ Fen's reaching soon! ByeByee

2009-08-31T01:13:00.001+08:00

J 說: maybe.. ... “你”（我）不是真正的快乐~ “你”（我）的笑只是“你” （我）穿的保护色！

2009-08-29T01:38:00.006+08:00

im back to update! agn, im gonna update in point form!!! hehehehes~

start from when leh???

last thur (20/08/09)

-min's bday~
-took a day off (jst for her!!!) LOL
-early morning went to wj huse to meet fen..
-get ourselves prepared! (make up...)
-met baobei @ T1.. we're late!
-went for modeling interview.. (anw, i rejected e offer due to some fk-up reason) >.<
-went cine suki sushi to meet up e rest.. (min, angel & js)
-ate lots of things~
-OMG!! i accidentally ordered 6portions of SALMON SASHIMI!!!
-went kbox after tt..
-after kbox session, they wanna play mj..
-all came up my huse to play mj
-wenjie met us at Tmall interchange.. he wanna see my DARLING BELLE~
-weijie came too.
-joan n wenjie left ard 10plus?
-weijie left ard 2 or 3am? but came back to fetch fen back home ard 4+am
-played mj.. (1 & 1/2 rds, we played for like 6hours?) _|_
-damn tired!

fri (21/08/09)

-couldn't wake up in e morning! (i slept @ ard 4+5 AM)
-took 1/2 day leave!
-dilly dally here n there~
-went work!!! shag!
-came back~
-totally forget what happen after tt! seriously, i lost my memory!
-ohs, i rmb i went Terminal 1 to fetch my darling bro (jonathan) he's back frm canada!
-went dinner with edward, sheena, jonathan & their mum!
e rest, cant rmb liao!

sat (22/08/09)

-"happy 19 month-ni-ver-sary" nah~ doesnt really matters anw~ As if any1 will rmb!
-met up with fen? agn, i forgotten everything happened after i wake up sia~
-night time!
-forget who start e conversation agn.
-chatted in msn!
-he said something hurtful to me agn! & i went EMO whole bloody week! till now~
-after msn, we sms awhile! nearly quarreled agn! _|_
-i cried e whole night till i fall asleep! can u imagine how hurtful his words are!!!

sun (23/08/09)

-woke up!
-met up with fen n wj..
-time to slack agn~ whoohoo! i seriously thinks tt im no longer consider as a social liao! cham~ >.< _|_
-wj got to study for his exam..
-both me n fen chit chat n talk cork!
-oh yah, fen cook cheng teng for me! hmmm.. yummy!
-fen n wj went to buy those muslim food opp my huse void deck!
-after their dinner, we went out to slack agn!
-home-d after tt..
-whole evening doing nth!
-edward called?
-accompany him to Tmall buy salad to eat.. LOL! (we WALK-ED there hor!) hahahs
-after tt, all complaint hungry!
-ordered Mac delivery!
-finished my Happy meal~ got a toy for fen!
-o.o saw some1 msn me~ (obviously, is he msn me!)
-talk to him awhile, nearly quarreled agn! _|_
-emo agn! nvm~ anw, i PMS since sat night!
-emo until now!(29/08/09)
-went for bed!

mon (24/08/09)

-work whole day!
-met up with fen @ Vivo for lunch~ thks sis for coming!
-ate my FAVE korean BBQ PORK!!! waahahahhhas~
-fen suddenly ask, jess, 10 年后的今天，Vivo 会变什么样子蛤？
-i replied : 10 years ltr, Vivo(10 years ltr) = Tmall (now)
-fen suggested tt 10 year ltr, we mst go Vivo agn! which is 24/08/2019 _|_
-den i forget abt everything agn! sigh~
-skipp-ed monday

tue (25/08/09)

-can skipp-ed agn? hehehhes, cux i forget agn!

Wed (26/08/09)

-work loh~ dun wanna blog abt work anymre!
-after work, met up with cerlyn @ bugis
-my PMS got worst on tt evening!
-shop ard bugis street for presnts for edwin~
-after tt she force me to eat dinner with her!
-ate salad! + a lil bit of seafood platter
-salad alr made me wanna vomit!
-i went to slack aft dinner..
-my pms frm worst jitao promote to LAGI worst!!!
-feeling damn weak after dinner~
-told her cant shop anymre!
-train-ed home!
-suppose to meet pearl & Joan at Tmall
-cannot tahan, mst go home rest 1st..
-Joan & Pearl came my huse to look for me.. so sweet of them!
-Baobei brought me $1 COKE!
-they played with belle awhile~
-went somewhr near my place to slack + usual routine + gossiping! LOL
-Fen & Wj came too..
-Cerlyn joined us after wj went to look for his frenx..
-chit chat talk cork!
-home-d
-sent fen to meet wj, joan & pearl home! all thks to my Jonathan kor!
-hom-ed~ sleep!

Thur (27/08/09)

-took 1/2 day leave!
-met up with fen for lunch @ KFC at CPF building
-fen came over my place for mj..
-but i requested her to let me slp for ard 15mins?
-end up, i slept for dunno hw many 15mins! LOL
-mj with fen & kor!
-mummy took over korkor & play with us!
-I WON!
-Cerlyn & Jierong came to look for me for K session!
-but im too tired, tml got to work! so rejected!
-end up we went for supper!
-surprisingly, i ate alot! fen was SHOCK!!!
-they suggested to watch movie!
-cannot! 1AM liao! ahgong will scold!
-so go back home sleep!
-reach home, saw my msn.. he msn-ed me! but he sign out le!
-din even bother to sms him anw..
-so i prepared for bed!!!

Friday(28/08/09)

-PAY DAY!
-went office, shifu told me they change e venue to HK!!! i wanna go! but no money shop!
-some ppl jst tell me off, go HK mst shop meh? go there relax n suntann lah! _|_ i rather stay in sg face my laptop n go sentosa suntann! cheaper!!! no need spend my time n money there! go there dun shop do wat? waste time!
-pek chek! nearly quarrel with my mum becux of this trip! so i decided not to go!
-after work, met up with fen.. but she was late..
-went somerset shopping mall to shop for steven junior's bday present! couldnt get any! nth is NICE!!!
-_|_ si ahneh, gave me e wrong ciggs! he gave me Viceroy menthol!!! instead of menthol light! CB
-wj came aft tt!
-we ate my FAVE RAMEN @ cuppage plaza!
-dabao back for mummy n brotherSSSSS
-is slacking time!
-walk back to plaza sin!
-hom-ed, changed n went out agn!
-MJ @ wj huse!! i lost nearly S$350!!!! but heng, loser only needs to treat all Mac S$1 COKE!!! tt's our deal~ LOL
-home-d after tt!
-blogging now! hehhehehes~
-going to sleep now!
-tml Mayday's concert!!!
-after tt, im going for frenx bday party! @ dbl O~ im sure gonna drink till i drop!!!

对了，belle　进医院因为和我表哥的女朋友玩得太疯了！导致羊癫风发作！所以才进医院！最近她的身体还蛮弱的！得好好的照顾她了！

我决定下星期不去香港了！！！　>.<

2009-08-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

记得就记得~
忘了就算了！
反正对我来说~
已经习惯了！

=）

请不要对号入座

2009-08-15T02:41:00.003+08:00

at least today, im happy!!! =D

went fen's huse to play mj with her n her bro ytd! WON S$10!!! wakakkakas! fen's bro gave me another S$10 to take cab home. so gentleman right? LOL

today after work, went fen's huse for mj again!!! this time rd, wj join in e fun too! play-ed for like few hours? ate shaker fries! fen's bro treat! thks alot yea~ today nobody win nobody lose~ happy ending!

suppose to meet baobei after mj session, but wj got to go home early. his mum needs to wash his uniform for him!! so we went home after mj session!

baobei, let's meet up soon okay! im jst a call away! no worries~ im like Mac delivery!!! 24hours on call!!!

ok, im abit tired le! going sleep soon! i wanna be a happy girl! really hope everything will go smoothly ltr!!! =D *winkswinks*

2009-08-13T03:15:00.006+08:00

im so tired~ yet i cant sleep. Why? Dunno!

keep thinking n thinking.. thinking abt wat? DUNNO!!!

sigh~ since im bored, i went to edit my photos i took today. LOLS~
look so funny lah! edit until so act cute like tt.. i see le jitao wanna LOL~

tadang~

edit-ed!

very funny right?

Very act cute right?

Okay, i'll start with my post le..

Today(wed)

-met up with fen ard 3+pm
-went CPF building to collect some lawyer documents!
-shop ard at Tmall & Tampines 1
-i swear i wanna go Cotton On to shop when i get my next pay!!!
-Wj book for out for 2 hours!
-ate Tepanyaki with fen, wj n his campmate (thks for e treat)
-go wj huse slack awhile
-home sweet home~
-received call frm cerlyn ard 10+pm?
-she came over to fetch me
-accompany her for her singing session
-slack at 820 awhile!
-dimsum!!! my FAV harkao!
-home-d at 1AM!!!
-chat with fen
-reply tagbox
-go read all my previous blog (2blogspot, 1wuming) LOL
-suppose to slp now!
-bt still blogging now~ sigh!

think ltr i shall keep think here n there till i fall asleep bah. sigh~ aft nightmare, i tot i can have a gd sleep le. but!!! sigh~ i keep thinking non-stop sia~ dun ask me wat im thinking, cux i also dunno! my mind jst refuse to shut down. keep think think n think! wtf loh.. i think i going crazy soon~ cant slp at all!!!!

last bt not least, GUYS! give some comments on my pic above bah! hehehhehs~ wanna see original let me knw! im having problem uploading e original de!!! _|_ resize machiam nvr resize like tt. so i gave up uploading e original pic here! ROAR!!!

NIGHT!

2009-08-12T01:04:00.004+08:00

before i start my post, i've got 2 days of MC!!! sigh!

mon

-eyes pain pain!
-went Sentosa with korkor
-very busy for e whole afternoon! (cux keep thinking non-stop)
-siam e sun here n there!
-end up still kena e sun! _|_
-"suntann" for 30mins? OMFG
-sat at 1 corner alone
-think think think~
-no conclusion! still think think think!
-maybe i shall go there alone next time! n i mean Night Time~
-sigh!
-bathe-d ard 5.15?
-went for my 1st meal at around 6plus 7pm (Vivo)
-went to look for korkor's friend at Andrew's Ave (Sembawang)
-e level 3 Chicken wings taste like _|_ very hot!!! spicy!!! bt quite nice
-den after tt went to Thomson Road for Dimsum
-home-d ard 1am plus!
-tired! bed time~

tue!

-went to work!
-5mins late
-eyes pain pain
-work work work~
-buay ta han liao! faster finish work go see doc
-doc give me 2 days MC!!!
-eyes infection
-anyway, i din take out my contact lens for at least 2 weeks liao!
-dun scold me, cux i cant find my specs for 2 weeks!!! >.<
-left my work place ard 3?
-went bugis to look for fen!
-went guan yin ma there for prayers
-after tt ate shaker fries
-met min min!
-shop awhile!!
-fen wanna drink some spicy soup
-ajisen time!
-damn full, after tt back home!

fen, dun so pekchek/angry liao lah!! ur bro will be fine~ no worries! meet up tml okay!!

這個男人
今天看见台湾的新闻，知道莫拉克台风越来越恶劣！好担心你在那里的情况如何。后来知道是台南的地区灾情比较严重，心理总算有松了那么一口气。我知道我以没资格要求你怎么样怎么样了。但我真的很希望你最近可以不要去台南。虽然有时候由不得你做主，但为了你的安全，不要去还是比较好。

刚才的我，好害怕你这几天会飞去台南还是什么的。你工作的行程不定，随时都有可能得去台南开会还是什么的。看见你昨天的留言是中午1点多留言的，到了现在你还没回复，真怕你真的去了台南，还是出了什么事。还好，终于让我有办法知道你平安无事。整个心，也定了下来。

你要好好照顾好自己的身体，尤其是腰！每次都会腰痛。台风天，腰一定更难受吧？记得，如果真的无法忍受那个痛，才吃止痛药。不要一点点，一点点就吃止痛药。以后止痛药对你来说会没效果的。知道吗？妈妈和阿婆最近也还好吧？妈妈有按时吃药，看医生，复诊吗？阿婆还有三斤半夜跑去你公司找你吗？还是整天不顾自己的身体？老是往外跑？带宵夜去给你吃？你要好好照顾她们哦！

希望明天醒来，能看到你报平安的留言。=）我知道我没资格要你这么做，但我是真的很担心你的状况。就算已经知道你没事了。但，还是希望你能亲自报平安！

晚安，祝你有个美好的夜晚！

i jst couldnt stop myself from thinking! sigh~

2009-08-09T22:11:00.006+08:00

uhoo~ im back!

ehs, i shall cut short everything agn.. okay?

let's start from...

thur!

-work as usual~
-went to meet fen at cp
-walk ard cp, NTH to buy at all~ =.=
-was still telling fen, how sweet my tw BF was~ f3
-pearlyn joined us ard 10.45?
-swensen!!! damn full!
-smoke smoke n chit chat awhile.
-took bus27 home!!! OMG!!!!!!
-use lappy surf net.
-saw my tagbox got ppl tag in chinese!
-before i read e msg, i was like WTF? dun tell me is him loh!
-read e msg, 90% cfm is him!
-blog-ed
-fen finally sent me those photos we took weeks ago~
-skype with her awhile
-no mood to chat anymre
-went for bed!

fri~

-WORK again loh!
-cerlyn chan called!
-oh no~ got to meet 3angles production colleagues str8 aft work!
-din bring my cosmetic + clothes (nb)
-went to cerlyn's huse str8 aft work!
-cabb-ed over to bugis for steamboat!
-suppose to go Lunar chiong aft steamboat session.
-end up~ all sibeh smelly~ all go home bathe!
-reach home~ cant find most of my cosmetics! pek chek~
-at least manage to find those basic de!
-prepared n reply tagbox..
-out!
-Chris n Tammy came over to fetch me!
-waiting for Steven Junior to reach!
-slack at Highlander awhile~
-lychee martini~ =D
-Steven Junior n "gangs" came!
-LUNAR time!
-Martell + greentea~
-listen to e liveband~
-music there was awesome! at least to me, i like it!
-stay-ed at lunar till 3+am?
-change venue to NANA~ (thai)
-sux! music sux~ girls sux! everything sux! every1 smoking inside!
-tiko pek!!! WOAH! 90% of e guys there = tiko pek!
-100% of e guys there, all CMI!!! cui-ed!
-drank TIGER beer at NANA! shiok~
-i want mre mre n MORE~~~~~~~ jst let me get drunk~ will'ya?
-end up! u shld knw my pattern! NEVER GET DRUNK AT ALL! but tired sia~ slept in e car on my way back!
-home-d at 5.35AM?
-msg-ed him Morning~ its time for morning shift!
-his reply! OMG OMG OMG OMG! U STILL REMEMBER!
-nb! LOL msg-ed with him awhile!
-slept ard 8plus?
-suddenly leg cramp sia (now still pain loh _|_)

sat~
-woke up!
-msg-ed fen. (any1 wanna feed me with ciggs?) LOL
-she really came to find me! so sweet~
-slack awhile!
-home-d (they went for dinner with wj's parents)
-supposed to watch Where got Ghost~
-only left 1st 2 rows seats! Mai!!!
-went 85 to slack awhile with fen, wj n his friends~
-went orchard to see car car!!!
-me n fen slack in e car~ LOL
-msg-ed him! everything settled! =)
-confirm-ed!!! i want neither or them! =)))
-home-d at 3+ 4am?
thks sis for e accompany~ appreciate it alot!!! really!!! muacks!

Sun!

-ahgong came in to nag! (ahgirl, 2pm liao.. still slping?)
-act act abit! sit up on e bed! LOL
-kena niam by ahgong! (dun think last night u came back very late i dunno)
-went back to sleep for ard 30mins!
-ahgong called agn! WAKE UP!!! we're gg 2nd aunt huse!
-sigh! went to pom pom! den eat some 爱心牌 fried rice~
-reach simei! be nanny again!
-upload pics some other times!
-played ps3 almost for e whole afternoon~
-drink 5 big bowls of soup! LOL
-played ps3 agn!
-home-d at 9.30pm?
-going to meet fen ltr agn!
-cux tml cant meet her, due to me!!! going to Sentosa!!!! WTF!!! cannot believe right! e white white girl gonna be ahbunehhnehh soon! >.<

today is Singapore 44th Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

i love Singapore! becux on its bday~ i got HOLIDAY!! ^^v

-這個男人
还记得1年前的今天吗？
那是你第一次和我说分手！
我简直吓傻了！
哭了好久好久！总觉得你好无情~
=）
没想到吧~
1年前发生的事，我还记得！

2009-08-09T04:23:00.002+08:00

im home~ so so so tired! am trying very hard to keep my mind occupied!!!

update tml~

nights~

2009-08-07T00:17:00.006+08:00

一个人：

我想我以猜到你是谁了吧！很明显，不是吗？
你，最近还好吧？腰，还痛吗？

我不知道你会不会回来读我部落格，
但我只想说，

无名的密码，我没改！
你可以到那里留言。我知道，你不喜欢让别人读你写的留言。
那里是我的“秘密基地” 永远都是！
但对你来说，也没意义了！

有件事想让你知道，
我没和那男生在一起，
现在不会，以后也不会！=）
我没想要解释~
你知道我很懒惰解释！

或许像我这样的女生，
想找个可以全心全意爱自己的人，不容易吧！
又或许，当初的我，被你宠坏了！
我的小姐脾气，目前为止，也只有你可以忍受！

我真的有这么难懂吗？
那么难搞吗？
是你太了解我？知道怎么哄我？
还是我对那男生要求太高？

把对你的期望，都放在了他身上？

算了，无所谓。
一切都不重要了！

我决定了！
我谁都不要了！

一个人，

也可以过得很开心，对吧？？？

工作狂！！！记得多休息。
我真心祝福你一切都好！

我们现在是什么关系？
谁能来“告诉我”？
（我们彼此好像都还没提分手，好奇怪哦！）

全世界，唯独你知道 =）的意思！
=）有那么难了解吗？

我真的好累，不想等了！
看到你的留言，
心理一度酸酸的，有隐隐作痛的感觉！F4

对不起！

说了这么多，我也不知道我猜得对不对。
但有种很强烈的感觉，是你!!!

如果不是，
那今天的网志，就当作我在说废话吧！！！

那個女人，這個男人！

2009-08-01T03:20:00.004+08:00

ima gd girl, i went to bed str8 once i cant get reach of u~

i thought i could slp well tonight cuz my bytches are here with me. cux i jst feel so safe with them around~ <3

soon after i fall asleep, (for dunno how long) nightmare came to find me agn!

finally tonight, i went to bed, n dreamt of e dream agn! G_G

whoohoo~ dun even dare to text u. cux u're tired n i tired calling u before i went for bed.. u were unavailable~ u're simply jst too tired! >.<

fen went to smoke smoke with me~ thks sis for e sweet sweet words~ i'll call u in e middle of e night if i really cant take it!

baobei tried her very best to sayang me to slp, but.. heheehees~ my mind jst refuse to shut dwn agn! i cant stop thinking abt e dream agn!

h0neyy fed me with 3 glasses of thick thick martell + 1 nutella bread w/o e "skin" (she still rmb! hehehhess) my eyes are so heavy now, yet, i still dun dare to slp! thks h0neyy for drinking with me! 1 bottle down!

anw, i lost 3kg in jst a week! jiayou!!! >.<>

when i needed u most, i still cant find e courage to text u! cux u're in ur lalaland~ happily dreaming of whatever things u wanna dream~ sweet dreams to u!

i promised to smoke less less, but i failed! for today~ so now i knw, even if there's some1 with me, e nightmare is still haunting me! how to shoo tt nightmare away?

brb~ fen bf sending me home now~ go home den continue~

im home! i feeling sleepy now~ but i hate to slp~ but as i promised, i'll try my best to sleep! =) night all my bytches n bytches bf~ i love u guys till e max..

i jst missed wat happen exactly 2 weeks ago at honeyy's place~ >.<>

2009-07-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

there's 24 hours in a day..

u have 24 hours to quarrel with ur ex.. yet, not even a second to text me a simple msg. tt's e difference between me n her!

when it comes to something happens to me, den u'll text me. tts hw important i am to u?

Mummy is in hospital now. report will be out tml. i hope everything is fine. NOTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO HER! n i mean NOTHING!

i din sleep for 6 days le.. hohoho! nice 1 Jesslyn!

2009-07-18T08:36:00.000+08:00

GD MORNING~ LOL

sians, jitao forget how to blog liao.. kns! all i rmb abt these few days = SICK!!! on MC since tue - fri. (shiok arr)

everything cut short okay? LOL! eh, i only rmb things happen aft thur, e rest i only rmb sick?!?!

thur

- went work

- cough + serious headache

- see doc agn!!! (MASK AGAIN!!!)

- on my way home (not feeling well + pms = emo whole day!)

- reached home (emo + emo + emo)

- rest!

- went airport for dinner (korkor belated bday celebration at t2 swensen)

- wanted to surprise some1, end up.. kena bio tio!! >.<

- he CALLED me!!! (1st time wor) LOL

- emo gone~ HAPPY!!

- salmon salad sux!!! i still prefer COFFEE CLUB!

- homed! ate medicine~ cant slp!!! T_T

- msg-ed him. (wahahhahahahahs, he's SUPER SWEET lah!) <-- msg nia LOL

- KO-ed

fri

- baobei called ard 11+ am

- dilly dally here n there.. (1.30 pm)

- fb-ing (3.45pm)

- msg-ed him. (meeting angel 6pm @ tiong bahru)

- watch tv, play fb..

- he called. (4.45pm) jst woke up!!!

- 5.30pm jst bathe hao!!!

- dilly dally here n there. wait for him to reach. (not meeting angel anymre, he says he knws hw to go)

- 7pm plus, went for our 1st meal!!

- took train over.. (G_G) stuck in e train.. hw long arr? forget alr. (time spent with him seems to pass so fast!)

- baobei called, event finish liao..

- bus to h0neyys place.

- rest there for few hours? 2? 3? dunno~

- ♥TMM♥ awhile, n he went to look for his frens. (sent me to find angel n kenneth)

- slack awhile, homed!

- bathed! msged with him awhile.

- KO-ed (sutpid medicine, everytime sure make me KO)

today!!!

no plans for today!! sigh~ craving for COFFEE CLUB smoked salmon salad!!! hw? >.<

2009-07-14T04:45:00.000+08:00

i dunno hw to explain to u hw much im afraid of e word WAIT~ or maybe i shld say it.. its jst like hw u're afraid of hw ur ex gf treats u~ maybe this post shall explained everything.

3 years ago, a guy hug me in his arms, told me hw much he loved me~ blah blah blah~ n suddenly, (still hugging me) he told me.. i still cant forget abt my ex.. baober, u knw i loved u very much.. i promised to give u my everything. n i really did. but i jst cant forget abt e 4 years plus r/s i had with her. I want u, but, i want her too.. (sounds familiar?) i rmb i cried until like nobody business. den, he whishper into my ears, baober, will u WAIT for me? i promised i'll be back. he told me, baober, ltr i'll send u home 1st. den u WAIT at home for me okay? i go meet my friends awhile. i'll be back soon. true enough, he came back to look for me. but its like mre den 12 hours? best part was, when he came back to look for me, he told me tt he actually went to look for his ex gf. n they actually patched up le.

But still, baober, i knw u're sad.. im sad too. cux i love u. u're irreplacable. jst tt, i cant forget her. How silly i was tt time to tell him tt i dun mind if he patch with tt girl. so long, he still loves me n stay by my side. i believe all e things he said. he even promised to celebrate my bday with me (which is 1 mth ltr.) ends up, before he left my huse (shall not go in details wat happened) he gave me a kiss on my forehead, baober, WAIT for me okay? e most 1 year. i'll spend as much time with u as i can. dun cry anymre alright? i love u~ i'll be back at night keep u accompany. okay? i promised. BUT, he went, n nvr comes back.

we have a private blog during tt time, i blog everyday, jst to let him knw hw much i misses him. finally 1 day. he replied my post. baober, im glad tt u're doing well now. i still rmb ur bday. no worries. LOL once hes gone, hes nvr back. i went in depression becux of him. cried everyday.. 19 days w/0 eating anything at all. jst a can of pokka grn tea, gd enough to make me tahan for 1 whole day.. sometimes, 1/2 can of grn tea, can make me throw out everything. 14 days for not sleeping at all. whenever i closed my eyes, i'll see him. i rmb everything he told me. especially e word WAIT. i used all sorts of tools to hurt myself every single day. jst to forget e pain in my <3.

i've WAITED for him 2 years. (silly huh?) even i knw he's not coming back anymre..

then, here comes my tw bf.. we've been tgt for 1 yr plus? whatever happens between me n him, i shall cut it very very short. he said he will come sg find me, but everytimes he said this. he failed to do this. he told me he'll be taking which flight to sg. but somethings crop up in e airport. n i WAITED for him at e airport for mre den 8 hours! still, i din manage to see him tt time.

He went MIA aft we patched up. i can say i dun love him anymre. but.. is not becux he went MIA, tt's why i dun love him anymre. jst tt i promised some1 else something. fine~ i WAITED for 3 months jst to contact him or WAITED for him to contact me. i jst wanna say e word brk to him. yet, till now.. i cant reach him at all. even his friends also siam me. wat u wan me to do? seriously, i thinks he wanna revenge me for saying brk to him during march. why? i dunno. maybe becux he's too confident tt i wont say brk to him. i can say he's e most perfect guy in e world tt any girls would fall for him. He's fking rich, fking handsome. fking caring. fking clever too. but e bad thing is, he's fking bz.. WORST, he likes to ask ME to WAIT. but at e end of e day, im like an idiot waiting for nth~

now, i tot i've found u~ n yet, u also ask me to WAIT. i knw u wont let me WAIT for a long long time. but its still WAIT right? i tried my very best, not to make u rmb of wat ur ex did to u. i din even ask much things abt ur ex. (except for e reason for e brkup.) but have u spared a thought for me? there's something i fear most. there's something i hate most in r/s. maybe u're right, we dunno each other well.

u said u're not like any of them. but u're hurting me e way they did years back or rather recently.

i cant throw temper at u when u told me u need some times to knw me better n u're afraid of wat happened between u n her will happen agn, cux i knw excatly hw u feels. (becux i've been thru it before) i cant tell u im not feeling gd when u asked me to wait. cux i knw u feel bad, n i dun wanna make u feel worst.

if u told me u're angry jst now, i think i'll be very happy. at least i knw u care~ but u insisted tt u're not angry. =)

night~

things are not RIGHT now, so i shall keep left~ in order not to make things worst~

im gg to see dor ltr, cux having fever now.. above 37.7 (fever + cough + sore throat)

guys, anything pls call me. dun text me pls. cux i might not be able to reply ur msg when im sleeping. thks~

2009-07-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

guys name tt starts with a J.. is always e same~ be it JERRY or J****~

2009-07-09T02:00:00.000+08:00

i'll update when im free~

2009-07-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

been spending times with my girls.. thanks to all those who actually msg-ed me jst to make sure im Fine~ thanks to Wilson Chia, for talking cork with me.. LOL.. ~thanks to reb0rn for e bedtime story.. thanks Cerlyn Chan for e treat on friday.. hehehes.. especially all my girls.. baobei, h0neyy, laopo, xiaofen, bun n ting.. thanks alot.. love u bytches.. muacks.. really appreciate it alot..

jst came back frm ting's place.. currently blogging at nana's place.. steamboat was.. NICE~ ting, next time if we organize any gathering or steamboat session.. u shall be e cook ya? LOL..

im feeling much better these 2 days.. jst dun remind me of wat happened.. jst leave me alone.. jst dun let me see them.. i'll be perfectly fine.. =)

im sorry baobei, i knw i hurt u by doing those silly things.. i knw hw sad u are when u see those scars on my hand.. but i jst couldnt help it but to hurt myself.. i feel much better after doing all those silly things.. i knw there's always other ways to vent all e unhapiness.. but, u should knw me well enough.. when i cant take stress.. e only things i'll do is to hurt myself.. i knw by hurting myself wont solve e problems or wat.. but it do makes me feel BETTER..

bun saw e scars on my hand today.. she show no expression.. jst ask me.. why like tt? wat happen? i think she'll be damn angry with me also.. IM SORRY.. XIAOMINMEI~

now, i only fear for tml's arrival.. i've got to face ALL OF THEM again.. including ahgong.. wat if... they saw my scars.. wat if they ask me wat happen to my hand.. how am i going to explain to them? or even worst.. Edward ask me to follow him to 1 corner.. and "question" me? how am i going to answer? i jst dun wanna tell them much.. wat if i cant control my tears during tml's prayers? sigh~

can some1 jst save me? or tell me wat to do? =(

2009-07-03T13:05:00.000+08:00

i really hate e way im behaving now.. but i jst help it.. how u ppl wan me to take all these "nonsense"?

1st :
my grandma leaves me..

2nd :
my dad betrayed me..

3rd :
my sanshu dun wan me..

4th :
my mum keeps telling me tt she wont live tt long too.. (always claimed tt "suan ming lao" says she wont live till very old)

5th :
my ahgong, TELLS ME(ONLY) NEXT TIME WHEN HE PASS AWAY, WHICH PHOTO HE WANNA PUT DURING HIS FUNERAL.. INFRONT OF E WHOLE FAMILY!!!

HOW AM I GG TO TAKE IT.. U TELL ME?

my ahma passed away when im at e age of 13.. i only rmb hw sad we are.. hw much i love her.. n when i was young, hw she take care of me when im sick.. when i misbehave, my parents will canned me.. n she saw those "zebra strips" on my body.. hw she use e bamboo stick to whack my parents.. she's really cute right? after her death, i only knw i got to cherish n love my grandpa mre.. tt's wat i told myself when im at e age of 13..

at e age of 15, i had a BIG quarrel with my dad.. soon, at e age of 17, they decided to divorce.. becux i forced them.. he claims tt im e 1 who forced him to go out n flirt ard.. becux i look down on him.. did i? dun rmb a single thing abt him anymre.. i used to love him very much.. yet he betrayed me..

now, coming 20 this oct.. my sanshu passed away during mar.. he break all his promises.. i rmb i ask him out for dinner before i went bkk for holiday.. n he agreed.. but before i left for my trip.. he told me this.. "jess, sanshu wont live long anymre.. next time cant cook for u to eat anymre.. no mre chance alr.." i told him.. mai lai lah.. u still so young, dun anyhw say.. den.. we ended tt topic.. when i came back frm bkk.. i was damn broke.. but am getting my pay on coming fri.. so planned to ask him n ahgong out on fri for dinner.. who knws.. thur morning.. heart attack.. he passed away.. he always protect me whenever im being "bullied" by my relatives.. they will disturbed me with durians.. but my sanshu is e only 1 who will ask them to fuck off.. i promised him.. i'll take good care of ahgong.. so no worries.. jst go in peace.. den.. i dreamt of hw sad n disappointed he was.. for some unknown reason..

same year, June~ my great-grandma passed away at e age of 100..

jst weeks ago.. when we're packing ahgong huse.. i was in his room watching tv.. den.. he shouted for me.. "ahjess, lai.." i went out, he showed me 1 photo of him when he was still "young".. he's wearing his police uniform.. very handsome.. whoohoo.. aft i made tt comments.. he told me.. "jess, next time ahgong pass away.. u mst put this photo infront of e lorry ok?" i was like WTF!!! ah sua, dun wan entertain him.. den i went in e room n continue my show..

anw, my mum has been repeating e same old lines to me almost every month.. i dun wan to live tt long.. suan ming lao say i wont live tt long too.. TT'S GOOD! (another WTF)

Edward's getting married this coming sept.. ahgong keeps telling me tt, faster settle korkor's wedding.. den he can also die with no regrets.. whoohoo~ (he stabbed my heart)

WHY? i tried my very best to behave like a good girl.. jst wanna make him feel proud of me.. n yet, he give me all these craps.. i dare to say, im e most filial girl in e whole family.. but.. he only wants to faster settle korkor's wedding n go die.. CB!

wat abt me? i also want him to handle all my wedding things when its time for me to get married.. BUT.. (speechless) jst becux my BLOODY SURNAME IS NOT KOH.. tt's why my wedding is not as important as Edward? jst becux he's e oldest grandson.. so u're so excited abt it..

jst becux my surname is not KOH.. jst becux im not a guy.. tt's why im not tt important.. i did so much things for u.. i dun expect anything in return.. i jst wan u to live longer.. to prepare my wedding.. to take care of my children after i get married.. but why.. why mst u sounds like im not important to u.. i knw u dun mean it.. but do u knw tt watever u say.. i care alot..

e people i love, all leave me.. so.. are u trying to tell me.. in order for u to live longer, my only way is to leave u guys.. dun love u ppl tt much.. den.. u ppl will live longer.. n stay by my side?

i only ask for e sense of security.. why cant u jst give it to me..

i really cant take it anymre.. i really hate e feelings when all e ppl i love are leaving me... is it becux of me? becux i love them so much, tt's why they leave me?

im dead tired.. those words keep repeating in my head.. hw am i gonna carry on my life with all these words..

its torturing me.. do u knw tt? i need to find ways to vent all my unhappiness.. but i jst couldnt find e best way.. so, back to square 1.. e mre i hurt myself.. e better i'll feel..

u ppl always say.. we mst show mre care n concern towards e 2brothers.. cux, sanshu n laoma's death, is really a big blow to them.. u ppl scared tt they might do silly things to hurt themselves.. so, meaning, i can take it very easily?

but, have any1 spared a thought for me?

oh ya, this morning.. before e prayers starts.. ahgong came to poke me.. n said.. "u nvr call him(my uncle) arr?" usually, my ahgong wont even bothers if i call who n dun call who.. so meaning, they did comments abt me infront of ahgong these fews days.. tt's why ahgong will have this kind of reaction this morning? forget it.. i dun wanna care abt it anymre.. say wat u ppl wanna say bah..

Others can missed e prayers session.. dun go ahgong huse evy weekend.. or even go up there n slp/show face den goes off.. those ppl wont get fuck by them.. but i will.. how pathetic huh..

2009-07-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

i've got lots of things to rant.. whr should i start? after today's post, i think all my friends will give me a gd scolding bahh~

i dun care this post, Sheena, Edward, Melvin or even other ppl in my family read this post.. i dun give a damn anymre.. i jst need a place to rant/chant..

i jst dun understand, why am i always e 1 kena FUCK for nth.. u ppl dun dare to call Edward, so, i shall do e job? end up, im e 1 being Fuck. no matter what happens, am always e 1st 1 to see ppl's attitude.. jst becux i wanna be my ahgong's filial granddaughter, doesnt means u ppl can take advantages of me.. jst becux im e "youngest", i dun get the chance to voice out wat i wanna say..

i always have to accommodate to you ppl.. u guys wanna enjoy ur fucking durians, go ahead.. i nvr stop u ppl from eating ur fave.. but do u guys always have to choose e timing whr im having dinner with u ppl? "ahgal, u go to e park or anywhere to walk walk 1st.. ltr den come back find us." excuse me, im not ur dog.. IDIOTS..

i dun eat durian, u ppl have lots of comments!! "ahgal, if u cant tolerate e smell of durians, how are u gg to survive in this world? hw are u gg to find a bf next time? U CANT SURVIVE IN THIS SOCIETY!!"

FUCKERS, ur bloody own son also dun eat durians, why do u have to comments on ME only? why dun u eat durians infront of ur son? or even say tt to ur son? jst becux ur SON will show attitude.. jst becux ur son gt BULLS TEMPER.. tt's why u dun dare to say him? wat do u mean by, i cant survive in this world/society? no bf? HEY, ur son is 28 years old now.. n he SURVIVED till now!!! he also can find a gf n is gg to get married coming sept, why cant i? AT LEAST I STILL GOT 8 YEARS TO LIVE.. im only 20 now..

after work, am already damn tired, got to eat dinner with ahgong.. fine, i dun mind.. but when u ppl appear, there goes my day. if i look tired, u ppl will start to say becux i dun wanna slp at night, i wanna be like an owl, SERVE ME RIGHT.. blah blah blah~ HEY, im working much mre harder den your daughter who's working in e same company as me.. i got to work in e morning, study at night.. i got to eat dinner with my ahgong evyday.. u think i superwoman, wont get sick or even tired? SERVE ME RIGHT? after i explain to u tt i din stayed till late night den go bed, ohs.. there goes ur reply.. "really meh? so gd girl? okay loh.. u gt so guai de meh" WTF? i slp early also cannot?

i jst dun understand, wat's e meaning of accompany ahgong eat dinner.. ahgong wanna eat this, u all wanna eat tt.. den give my ahgong lanjiao bin.. ahfk.. i dun wanna comment much on this anymre..

jst becux my name is not Edward Xu, doesnt means u can Fuck me upside down..

YOU, as my mum.. only knw how to ask me to keep quiet.. dun show attitude.. when ur slibbing are commenting abt me, where were u? u always tell me, they are ur elders.. YOU MUST RESPECT THEM.. i give them e respect, doesnt means they will respect me back.. sometimes, it jst break my heart whenever u told me abt e generation thing.. "i really dunno wat's on u ppl (this generation) mind.. u ppl are behaving frm bad to worst.. SO RUDE!!" excuse me MDM KOH, even if they're at wrong, u will still ask me to keep quiet.. dun make things worst.. den.. end up? MY FEELING GOT WORST..

YOU PPL LOST UR BROTHER, GRANDMOTHER.. wat abt me? i've lost my UNCLE & GREAT-GRANDMOTHER TOO.. e pain u ppl are gg thru now, im gg thru too.. it doesnt means tt if u knw this person longer, e mre u cant take his/her death.. i also lost some1 i love alot..

I LOVE HIM MRE DEN U PPL DO.. he's better den my dad.. he love me mre den u ppl do.. he's e 1 who will bring me for Mac bfast early in e morning 7am. he's e only 1 who will stand on my side no matter wat happen.. he's e 1 who will always give me a hug frm behind n say, "ahgal, dun care abt wat other ppl say, u always got sanshu to support u.." he's e only 1 who will joke with me in e family.. he's e only 1 who will cook all my fave dishes for me to eat.. he's really e 1 standing at my side when i quarrelled with my dad few years back.. u ppl only want me to call him DAD during tt time. MY sanshu is e 1 who told me, "Jess, dun force urself if u cant do it.. but still, i really hope u will call him DAD, cux i dun wan other ppl to comment on u.." i can smile everyday, but tt doesnt means i can take his death so easily.. i will NEVER forget hw sad he look in my dreams..

sanshu, where r u now? why arent u protecting me anymre.. u dun love me anymre?
sometimes, i jst feel like u ppl are really forcing me to do things i hate to do now.. i dun mind wearing jackets everyday.. jst dun force me anymre.. i knw hw to cut myself with penknife without leaving scars.. i enjoy e pain, when u take ur keys to hurt urself, n a lighter to burn on e scars on ur hand.. e sensation.. u will nvr knw.. i've always have e urge to do this, whenever im feeling down.. i really cant take it anymre..

forget it, all e unfair things, i can never finish in this post..

is time to standby e keys n lighter.. i rmb e last time i hurt myself damn jialat.. is when Jerry broke off with me.. i will never forget e expression on Edward's face when he saw those scar.. it makes me feel so happy when some1 look so pain when they saw those scars there.. tt's e only way to torture u ppl when im left with nth..

2009-07-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

im damn tired. i need a gd rest.. i always have e urge to hurt myself with those "tools" again.. but.. forget it~